If it's unfamiliar to you, the term "toxic thoughts," may sound like one of those touchy-feely new age terms that doesn't really mean very much. After all, thoughts are just thoughts, right?
Well... right. And wrong, too.
Most people don't take the time or make the effort to look more closely at their thoughts. They believe that thoughts run their course without allowing any real influence or control-- and when those thoughts blunder by, they tend to believe them. But not all thoughts are healthy, productive, or even correct. Some thoughts get into your head and take a grip on you; they control your ability to relax or to simply be happy. When you're doing this sort of thinking --when you're beating yourself up about something, in other words-- you're thinking toxic thoughts.
Fortunately, there are ways to keep toxic thoughts at bay. And while you'll probably never be able to exert 100% control over what goes through your mind, you can keep toxic thinking from poisoning your attitude, your self esteem, or just your day. Here are four ways to do it.
1. Look at your thoughts with perspective.
You're going to have negative feelings sometimes. When your boss gives you a hard time unfairly (or even fairly) or the "great guy" you met on a free internet dating site turns out to be a dud, it's natural to have negative feelings about it. And while you don't want to squash those feelings or pretend they're not there (if you don't acknowledge them, they'll only get worse), there are ways to look at them more clearly. Take the time to feel a negative feeling, and then turn a clear perspective on it. Your two choices? Either take steps to solve the problem that caused the negative thought in the first place, or acknowledge to yourself that you have no control over the problem, and let it go.
2. Deep breathing.
It's science: taking a few slow, deep breaths brings oxygen into your brain and blood into the farthest reaches of your body. When you're thinking runs away with you into your mind's darkest corners, deep breathing can help you to relax and keep it under control. This is both a mental and physical reaction. Mentally, taking a moment to focus on your breathing cuts you off momentarily from your toxic thoughts. And physically, the extra shot of oxygen to your brain brings with it some extra clarity, allowing you to find more positive and productive ways of looking at your thinking.
3. Feel good about you.
While everybody thinks toxic thoughts at times, it's a certain kind of person who tends to be plagued often by this sort of thinking. Do you tend to have low self-esteem or automatically think the worst about yourself or your situation? Then you have a tendency towards toxic thinking.
For these kinds of people, a daily affirmation (cheesy as it might sound) can often be helpful. When you look at yourself in the mirror, focus on the positive things. Smile at yourself --even if you don't mean it at first-- and don't let negative (and often untrue) thoughts take hold. If you practice this every day (especially in the morning) you may start to see a difference in your attitude as time wears on. Really... it works.
4. Wield a "thinking net".
Words have more power than you think they do. If you tell yourself negative things about yourself or others over and over again, those thoughts will begin to take root and feel like facts. When you find yourself doing this kind of thinking, take a step back, and try to look at yourself or others in a more positive light. The more you work to catch negative thoughts in your "net" and try to look at them for what they are, the easier it will get.
Remember, just because you think something --just because a thought occurs to you-- doesn't mean it's true. Sometimes the things that run through your head cause you pain for no reason... you don't necessarily need to listen to them. You can't prevent yourself from thinking negative thoughts. But you can prevent those thoughts from being toxic to yourself and others by simply taking the time to look at them for what they are: simple thoughts. Anything that you look at negatively can be looked at in a positive light, too. And with time, you can learn to do just that.
