Especially when you first get started with internet dating, the whole process can be very exciting. You set up your profile, imagining the people who might see it and how they might react. You look at others' profiles online, picturing long drawn-out dates over a bottle of wine. In their excitement --and often their impatience-- to get the ball rolling, most people make several mistakes in the process of internet dating. And not all of them are new to dating sites. Even people who have been using sites like Datepad for years tend to get caught up in the excitement and make big mistakes.
Want to avoid some of the most common internet dating blunders? Read on to learn about frequent mistakes internet daters make, and how to avoid them.
1. Too much too soon
If you put a little effort into your profile, it's not so hard to look good on paper (so to speak). So it may often happen that you come across the profile of somebody who looks like just what you want. You make contact, you start a conversation... and you get so excited and hopeful about this one connection that you drop all the others.
This is one of the quickest ways to get burnt out on dating online. The real secret to the success of using dating sites is the sheer number of people you're exposed to. But if you drop other contacts and focus on one still-dubious match, you nullify some of the advantages of internet dating. Putting too much time and energy into one person before they really give you reason to is just a recipe to be disappointed.
2. Throwing money at it
Internet dating doesn't have to be expensive-- in fact, with great free dating sites like Datepad, you don't have to spend any money on the "internet" part of the date. But dating in person, of course, is quite a bit more expensive-- some people spend over $2,500 a month going on dates with people they meet on dating sites. And, of course, most of the time they see in the first five minutes that this person is an unsuitable match.
It can be tempting to want to give more time to some of the people you meet online. But the best thing is to do something short and inexpensive together. Get a drink at happy hour or go out for coffee. It won't break the bank, and chances are it'll give you more than enough time to gauge your interest.
3. Thinking you know this person
Talking with people on the internet gives you a strange sort of freedom. You can share just what you want to share just when you want to share it; and at no point are you really obligated to give too much away. At the same time, conversations are lively and interesting, and give you the sensation that you're getting to know people. But while you are getting to know the people you chat with in some ways, it's important to remember that they're sharing with you only what they want to share-- something which is far easier to do online than in person. Until you meet them in person or at least speak on the phone, it's best not to trust that you know somebody as well as you think you do.
4. Trying to be what others want
When you surf other internet dating profiles, you're bombarded by about a million conflicting ideas of what the perfect mate should be like. And so on your profile and in your conversations, you often try to seem like that perfect mate-- that special somebody that people out there are searching for. But you need to remember that you are a special somebody without having to be what everybody is looking for: you're just you. And no matter how much you try to appear a certain way in your profile or even in conversation, you're never going to be anything but you.
So, yes, you want to learn to market yourself online. But you also need to remember that you're searching for people who want somebody like you. You, just as you are; not some fantasy that a thousand different people talk about on their profiles.
5. Giving up
Again, the real benefit of internet dating isn't that you find a match faster and easier (though that's often true). It's that you're exposed to a huge variety of different people, giving you a huge pool of potentials to choose from. Unfortunately, though, many internet daters tend to forget this, and expect somebody to come along on the internet and sweep them off their feet in no time. Generally, it doesn't happen this way, and some daters get so disillusioned that they give up on the entire process. But don't do this! Internet dating really does work-- it might not work as quickly as you wish it would, but if you stick to it you never know what it might do for your life.
