When you date in the "real world," the moment to commit tends to come along pretty naturally. You spend a lot of time together, you don't have many other dates lined up, and you like each other. Even if you don't sit down and have a conversation about it, you can generally feel which way the relationship is heading.
But just because you make that commitment doesn't mean the relationship will last. You can make a commitment to somebody soon after making that first connection, only to have the relationship last just a few weeks, or even a few days. And while I don't mean to say that making a commitment is a bad idea --because it's not!-- it is by no means a guarantee of a real relationship.
People who have been dating traditionally for years often tend to bring their same habits of meeting, connection, commitment, and break-up right with them into internet dating. But internet dating just doesn't work the same way traditional dating does. When you have so many options, deciding on just one should be a slower, more cautious process. If you're quick to commit, you'll find yourself on a constant on-again, off-again, up-and-down roller coaster of a ride-- which is not very good for your heart. But when you take your time deciding on committing to somebody you meet at an internet dating site, you actually reap a lot of rewards. Read on for some of the most important ones.
1. You Spread Your Net Wider.
When you walk into a bar, there are maybe five people you'd be interested in dating (if you're lucky). When you log onto an internet dating site, there will be 500, or 5,000. But unfortunately, even the best dating profile doesn't tell you everything you need to know about the people you meet online. The more time you take getting to know them, the more people you'll get to "take for a test drive," so to speak.
2. You Learn More about Internet Dating.
The more people you let yourself date online (especially at the same time), the more comparisons you'll develop as to what works and what doesn't. What elements of your profile attracted what kind of person? Who responded well to that first message, and who didn't? The more practice you have dating people online, the better you'll get at it. And the more possibilities you'll have of attracting somebody truly special.
3. You'll Get a Better Sense of What you Want.
This is especially important if you've recently left a long-term relationship. When you've been in a commitment for a long time, you often tend settle for the first interesting person that comes along. Or at least you get excited enough by that person to put all your emotional eggs in one basket. On the other hand, if you spread your net a little wider and date many people instead of committing to just one at a time, you'll develop a good idea of what you're looking for --and what's out there-- a lot more quickly than you would otherwise.
4. You See How they Respond.
When you're dating somebody online, there may come a point when it seems they want you to commit. While you should certainly commit to somebody if you're truly interested in being exclusive with them, taking your time can be a good way to gauge what kind of person you're really dealing with, and how that person handles difficult situations. If your date freaks out and becomes ultra possessive or insecure, you've probably learned something about them that will help you determine if you even want a relationship.
Now, I'm not saying you should play games with relationships. Because you shouldn't. But if you don't feel 100% ready to commit, your date's reaction to that fact may help push you in one direction or another.
5. It Keeps Your Heart a Little Safer.
Whether you do it on internet dating sites, at clubs, or in the grocery store, dating can be difficult and painful. If you allow yourself to commit too early on, you're putting yourself at a lot more risk of being hurt. Sure, there's a possibility that you'll be rejected no matter what you do. But if you know you have other potential matches waiting in the wings --if you've waited to make a commitment-- it's that much easier to get over the hurt and move on to your next great date.
