Those of you who are big fans of political correctness may find talking about geeks and nerds and other "brainy" types in an article to be a little harsh. But seeing as I am one (specifically: a nerd), I feel pretty comfortable talking about this particular segment of society. And because I'm a big fan of internet dating and how it works for me, I'm also able to share dating advice with my fellow nerds and geeks. Which is a very good thing because (admit it guys!) you generally desperately need it.
If you're a nerdy cerebral type, dating can be an incredibly stressful thing. You fidget, avert your eyes, and play with every little thing on the table. Your voice shakes. And when the time comes, your brain locks up and you can't think of even one thing to say to your date that doesn't sound like total idiocy. When you spend so much time inside your head --and with people who think similarly to you-- getting out and getting to know somebody new is nerve-wracking, awkward, and strange. Which is why internet dating is such a gift for nerdy people like me.
Nerdy and not dating online? Read on for five big reasons why you should be.
It lets you start slowly.
If you haven't dated in awhile, the very idea of it probably makes your palms sweat. You can't imagine walking up to some girl in your local bar and asking for her number. With internet dating, you don't have to. Seated behind your safe and familiar computer screen, looking at profiles and sending out messages, the experience just isn't in the same sweat-inducing league as having to chat people up in person. You get to start slow... allowing you to get your pale, nerdy feet wet instead of just jumping right in (kidding!).
It's cerebral.
When you meet people in person, that first contact is all about the physical connection: confidence, eye contact, conversational flow. In other words, all that stuff you have trouble with. But with internet dating, that first contact is much more about the connection between two minds than the connection between two bodies. It allows you to get comfortable with the idea of somebody --and give them an idea of who you really are-- before you're obliged to meet them in person. For a shy nerd, this can be an incredible benefit.
You meet a wider variety.
If you're intelligent and are mainly interested in a few set subjects, meeting people who share your interests can be difficult. You're not going to find many like-minded people at your local bar, for instance. But when you date online, you don't only meet people who share your interests, you also meet compatible people with totally different interests-- people with whom you may get along with beautifully, but who you wouldn't have a chance to meet otherwise.
When you're a geek, your pool of suitable partners may be a little smaller than it is for others. Dating online helps to widen (or deepen?) that pool, giving you a lot more options than you'd have in the real world.
You can be yourself.
Most people aren't nerds or geeks. So in life, we geeks often feel a need to fit into some kind of mold that just isn't us. A certain kind of person tends to get dates; therefore we try to be that person. And of course it never works. But since the whole point of internet dating is to find compatible singles, it's not only okay to be yourself, it's preferable. The purpose of a dating profile is to express who you are and to attract people who are looking for somebody like you (and believe me, they're out there!). Being yourself is the best way to find what you're looking for-- you don't have to hide.
The internet is a geek haven.
This one seems pretty obvious, right? If you're a geek, you're probably into computers. But the type of man or woman who can't tell a shift key from a gear shift (in other words, somebody you don't have anything in common with), probably isn't going to be online. In fact, many of the people who are online are geeks like you. So while the internet audience widens more and more every day, geeks on the net still have an edge. This is our place, after all.
Screenname12345
33 / Male
Comments: 12
Posted on June 1, 2009, 7:49 am
Does it really matter if your a geek or a nerd, we are all nerdy and geeky in our own ways, i find on dating services, people don't give you the time or day to get to know you, doesn't matter how charming a guy or girl can be, most people use these services for a few reasons, they treat it like a compitition, how many guys or girls will message me today, they look for looks, money, cars, material things, when it comes to guys like me, or nerds and geeks in this case, if they weren't having success meeting the ladies off the dating services, chances are they might have the same results on the dating services. all i ask is for someone to take the time to get to know me, not because i don't measure up to their standards. but het, thats life i guess.
