There's a really good reason why you probably signed up for a free internet dating site like Datepad: you're looking for somebody to spend your life with. Generally, single people come here because they're interested in doing positive things for their love lives. They're committed to doing what they need to do to be happy. But just because you have good intentions for your love life doesn't mean you do everything right. Many people sabotage or undermine their love lives in some way, even if they don't do it on purpose.
Having trouble keeping relationships going in the long run? Then you may be guilty of undermining your love life. Read on for some of the mistakes you may be making, and why they get in the way of real romantic success.
Mistakes Men Make
1. You get jealous.
Jealousy --especially the kind that breaks up relationships-- is based almost entirely on insecurity. Sure, we're all insecure about something. But when you let that insecurity make you behave in jealous and controlling ways, you've already taken that first step in losing your relationship. Remember, if she wants to cheat on you she's going to-- and holding on to her with desperate tightness will only make her more likely to stray, not less. The first step in conquering your jealousy is realizing that your jealous feelings are about your insecurities... not about her faithfulness.
2. You don't listen.
Talking to women is often a lot simpler than men think it is. When a man can't sit down and listen to a woman and respond to her in a supportive an empathetic way, it won't take long for there to be trouble in the relationship. Much of the time, women only want to know that you're listening and that you care about her feelings. This doesn't mean, as you might fear, that you have to agree with everything she says or do everything she wants. It simply means that she has to know you're listening and considering-- that you're thinking about her end of things as well as your own.
3. You act "too macho to feel."
Being emotionally intimate with somebody makes you vulnerable. And that, combined with the way that most men were raised to hide rather than express their emotions, makes it common for men to suppress what they're feeling. But a man's emotions are just as strong as a woman's, and it's just as important for his emotional health (and the health of his relationship) that he express them. Some men are afraid of the vulnerable place that opening up to a woman emotionally will put them. Others believe that showing strong emotion in front of a woman will make him seem less attractive to her. But the truth is, a woman cares a lot about knowing what's going on her man's head and heart. And when you're too "tough" to share, she may begin to withdraw, too.
4. You fear commitment.
While it's not very encouraging for us women to hear, it's true to a certain extent that a man's genes program him to play the field. It's easy to trick yourself into thinking that, the moment you choose and settle down with a particular woman, another better one will come along (heck, a lot of women feel this way, too). Many men believe that entering into a relationship means the end of their freedom and independence. But while that's true to a point, it's also not true when you pick the right partner. Being in a committed relationship with somebody with a complete life of her own --somebody free and independent like you-- doesn't take away from your life, but only adds to it. If you let yourself go on fearing and fearing commitment, you'll be missing out on the rich partnership that a committed relationship will bring.
5. You think you'll fail.
When you meet a wonderful woman, you probably start to see your whole life mapped out in front of you. You want to keep her, you want to make her happy, and you want her to want the same things. But if you've been through a few failed relationships, it can be all-too-easy to worry that this one is headed in the same direction... and to wonder what's the point of even trying. Sure, it's okay to be a little afraid; relationships are a high stakes business. But you can't let that fear get in the way of doing what you can to make your relationship work.
