You meet Mr. or Ms. Wonderful on an internet dating site, and feel like you've hit the jackpot. You have a connection, you have an attraction... and before you know it you have a relationship. Then, just when you think you might have found just who you're looking for, the relationship hits a brick wall.
It happens to all of us at one time or another. Whether the relationship was a short one or a long one, when you've had a bad break-up it can be difficult to go on with your life. You have friends, you have family to deal with. And worst of all, you have a job to go to in the morning.
Dealing with your 9-to-5 when your heart is aching isn't any fun. Unfortunately, though, it's got to be done. Dreading getting back to work after a bad breakup? Read of for some tips on doing it right.
1. Don't dramatize it.
Unless some of the people you work with are very close friends, it's best if you can keep from talking about your breakup at all. After all, when you talk to just anybody about your personal problems, there's a good chance that, before long, all of your co-workers will be gossiping about your breakup around the water cooler. Can't hide what your feeling and want to let people know what's up? Keep it short, and don't get dramatic. "I broke up with my partner" is information enough. Don't expand unless the person you're talking to is somebody you're very close to.
2. Don't play hooky.
When you're heartbroken, you probably feel like you deserve a day (or seven) at home to heal. But spending that time at home isn't going to help you heal... it's only going to help you dwell. Get back to work right away, and try to let your breakup affect your day-to-day life as little as possible. If you allow your life to revolve around your breakup, it'll be harder to remember that life goes on-- with or without your ex.
3. Focus on your work.
Though it may be difficult to concentrate at first, throwing yourself headlong into your work can be a great way to detach from your emotions. Working hard can be a wonderful distraction. And as a bonus, your boss will notice that you're extra dedicated... instead of thinking you've been moping around the office not getting anything done.
4. Leave your ex at home.
When you're at work, be at work. Sure, thoughts of your ex will probably invade your work time every 3 seconds or so. But though you might think of him or her, don't talk about it. Have really supportive friends who are willing to commiserate with you at all hours of the day? Don't call or email them while you're at work, and especially don't call or email your ex to talk things out. If you get yourself worked up while you should be focusing on your job, your performance is bound to suffer. If possible, leave these two halves of your life separate. It's the best thing for your overall sanity.
5. Sleep and eat.
If you don't take care of yourself, more than your body is going to suffer. Your job might, too. On top of the stress of a break-up, do you really need to get a talking-to from your boss about how your work performance is suffering? Probably not. Again, don't let your life revolve around your break-up. If you take care of yourself, it's easier to remember that you deserve to be happy. And so it's easier to move on.
6. Treat yourself in your off time.
Had a difficult day, but managed to keep your emotions in check during that departmental meeting? Then give yourself some treats in your off time. Whether it be a good cry in front of your favorite melodramatic movie or a pedicure or a big bowl of ice cream, indulging yourself a bit on your off time will make it that much easier to deal when you're at work.
Breakups are hard. But if you keep moving on with your life and doing things to make yourself feel better again, you'll get over it that much more quickly. And who knows... maybe people will be gossiping about your new partner around the water cooler sooner than you think.
