There are qualities that we all look for in a man. We read his internet dating profile or listen to his conversation for the least hint that he has them. Charm, a sense of humor, ambition, intelligence, and, of course, good looks. When people talk about what they want in a mate, these are the sorts of qualities they say they're looking for. And while finding somebody who meets your standards in various ways is important for building a happy relationship, there are a whole host of just-as-important qualities that you may not be looking for. And these qualities often have a greater effect on the success (or lack thereof) of your relationship.
Good communication skills
Sometimes, misunderstandings create problems in relationships where no problems should be. Your boyfriend says the wrong thing or expresses himself in ways that you can't understand. When it comes to having a smooth and balanced relationship, good communication skills are key. If your boyfriend knows how to talk and listen, it'll hugely reduce the number of misunderstandings --and silly fights-- you have to deal with. If he can always get across to you what he's feeling or thinking, you'll be able to make decisions and react appropriately to the things that happen in your relationship.
Forgiving
I have a guy friend who is just about the most delightful man in the world. He's handsome and hilarious and kind. But he is also about the least forgiving man I've ever come across. When somebody does something to anger or hurt him, it takes weeks for him to get over it. And that's just for the small stuff. Face it: you're going to screw up sometimes in your relationship. And you'll be a lot happier with a man who is willing to forgive quickly instead of punishing you for your little mistakes for weeks on end.
Passion for life
Most women want a man who is passionate about them-- it is generally what you're referring to when you talk about "passion" on your internet dating profile, right? But not many of us think much about finding a man who is passionate about his life. Men who have passions outside of you, such as their work, their interests, their friends, or their community, generally live full and happy lives. Being part of a life that is already content and complete is generally much more joyful than being the only thing that matters in a man's life. It may sound counter-intuitive, but it's true.
Competency and Self Reliance
Men who know how to take care of themselves are vastly easier to live with. Sure, most women have a "caretaker" instinct somewhere inside of them. But being expected to take care of yourself, your life, maybe a batch of kids, and your spouse isn't fair. And it isn't a lot of fun, either.
Positivity
People who look at life for its possibilities are a joy to live with. People who don't can be something of a drag. If you want somebody who will be able to improve your life during both good times and bad, look for somebody with a positive attitude. Because people with positive attitudes tend to make things happen for the better.
Balance
There are people out there who seem almost all emotional or all cerebral. Or they are passionate only about one thing, and are passionate about that thing to a fault. But in general, the easiest men to live with are the balanced ones. They know how to be assertive without being aggressive. They can be loving without smothering. They know where the boundaries of behavior are, and tend to stay within them.
Empathy
Some people seem to be made without any ability to understand another person's perspective. And these people are not easy to live with. If you want a healthy, happy relationship with a man, look for one who is able to understand your feelings and point of view without having to pass judgment on them. If he can understand how you feel, he'll be much more likely to react appropriately to what you do and say. And that can make life a heck of a lot easier.
Gsmbg56
55 / Male
Comments: 1
Posted on January 17, 2009, 7:32 pm
Hi out there I read the seven qualites and I think that it is very on q with relationships and also very inlightening .thanks
Roses4mysoul
70 / Female
Comments: 21
Posted on February 4, 2009, 9:28 am
I really appreciate Balance and Empathy. Great paragraphs. Right in there is "sharing responsibility for moving the relationship forward." It isn't either person's job. Nor is being the "social chair". I appreciate men taking the initiative in planning activities as often as I do. These are shared responsibilities.
