Flirting is the backbone of inspiring interest in people of the opposite sex. Sure, some of us are able to start a relationship without having to flirt (internet dating really helps non-flirters do this, for instance), but even if you don't use it to meet people, flirting is the best way to keep their interest when you finally go out on that first date.
Whether you do it to get the attention of that hot guy or girl sitting across the bar or to keep your date on his or her toes during your first in-person meeting, flirting is a tool that will help you get what you want that much faster. You've just got to know how to do it right! With time and practice, anybody can learn how to flirt. Most flirts aren't born, after all, but are made over time. Want to truly enhance your own flirting skills? Then you need to study the traits of people who are great at flirting. Read of for the seven major traits of world-class flirts.
1. They do it often.
Just like any muscle or skill, if you don't use it very often, your ability to flirt will atrophy away. So you've got to flirt with people often-- even the ones you're not necessarily interested in having a relationship with. Your flirting will only become natural, seamless, and appealing when you can do it unselfconsciously. And that takes loads of practice-- even if it just means smiling at strangers and saying hello.
2. They exude confidence.
The best flirts are usually not the most attractive people in the room. Instead, they're the most confident. They feel great about themselves, and they're not overly worried about your opinion while they're flirting with you. They carry themselves with confidence and self-assurance-- something that is inherently appealing to everyone around them. Don't have the gift of confidence? Then fake it until you feel it.
3. They are open-minded and positive.
Somebody who is closed-minded and judgmental is never going to be a truly good flirt. Why? Because part of the skill of flirting is being able to take a conversation or a topic and roll with it. Flirts react positively to what the object of their flirtation is saying to them.
4. They don't let fear stop them.
If you let the fear of rejection get in your way, you're never going to be a successful flirt. Look at it this way: whether flirting at the bar, sending an email at an internet dating site, or striking up a conversation at the grocery store, there are always going to be people who aren't in the mood to talk to you. You can't take it personally... and you can't let the fear of it happening keep you from taking the chance.
5. They make flirting about others.
Rather than thinking of flirting as something you do to make people like you more, try to think of it as something you do to make people feel good about themselves. Ask questions that are focused on them. Show your interest. Listen to what they have to say. The truth is, feeling liked is the first thing that will make a person like you. Use that to your advantage, and focus on them rather than expecting them to focus on you.
6. They stay relaxed.
When you're nervous and afraid of rejection, you do things like fidget, speak at supersonic speed, and avoid eye contact. Don't! It's okay to be nervous. But just take a deep breath and take your time. And don't forget to look the object of your flirtation in the eye.
7. They laugh a lot.
The whole point of flirting isn't to trick somebody into liking you or to get them into bed (though of course it helps both of these things along). It's to have fun. Real flirts flirt not to reach a goal, but simply to have a good time. So when you watch a successful flirt, you'll probably see a lot of laughter and smiling. Because they're having fun! You can definitely take a lesson from this: don't take flirting so seriously. Smile, joke, and make it all about having fun. If you focus on having fun, your date will have a great time, too.
