It happens way, way too often that truly amazing people are out cavorting around with straight-up losers. I’m always a little baffled as to why this is. Maybe the awesome part of the couple doesn’t realize their own potential. Or maybe they started out on the same level and one person just progressed past the other…it’s sad but c’est la vie. It happens.
Nobody puts "lame-ass loser" on their internet dating profile, so to help squash the percentage of people who are dating lame-asses for the reason of simply not knowing what constitutes a lame-ass, I hereby present you with 7 simple qualities you absolutely don’t want in a mate:
1. People have until 3 months post-graduation to move out of their parents’ house. That’s it. I don’t care if they’re a Kennedy and the house in question encompasses half of Cape Cod. If you’re dating someone who is 30 and still living at home while they “figure out their lives”, cut and run immediately. But before you go, you might want to do a little public service and clue them into the fact that we’re all perpetually trying to “figure out our lives”. The rest of us just recognize it as a consistent part of grown-up life, not a debilitating handicap.
2. They post self-portraits that were taking in mirrors of them looking pouty and serious and probably half-naked. These people are the bottom of the dating totem pole, if you ask me. It showcases a healthy heap of vanity, zero ability to be original and probably more than a smidge of insecurity. Opt for people who have something interesting to showcase with their online photo collection.
3. He or she skimps on the romance. Not just in the typical sense of the word. I’m talking about attention to your needs and a general sense of selflessness. Someone who is too self-involved to go the extra mile, even for someone they’re dating, is clearly too immature for you to waste your time on.
4. They don’t know what your job is when you tell them what you do for a living. I’m not into snobbery and I think that romantic success is capable across all kinds of social and fiscal lines but come on; if someone is educationally that far behind you that they can’t even comprehend something that you’re a professional at, chances for this being a viable relationship are slim. You might want to set your sights a bit higher.
5. They not only still think their band will make it big one day (they suck), but they’re not taking any other proactive steps in their life. That’s it. Band = Plan. There’s a lot to be said for not giving up the dream but when the dream takes over your life and leaves you a broke-ass, talent-less loser, it’s time to reevaluate. If your love is stuck in La La Land, la-la-leave him or her.
6. They can remember the exact statistics of every player on their favorite sports team for the last 20 years…but can’t remember your birthday.
7. If they told their friends about that thing you agreed to try out in bed last week, it’s time to stop giving them fodder for their gossip mill. People who aren’t evolved enough to know how to use a little relationship discretion shouldn’t be allowed to be in one.
