Who says men are the only ones allowed to collect pick up lines? The truth is, while women can depend more on body language and that ever-effective "come hither" smile than men can, sometimes a long glance across a crowded bar just isn't enough. Sometimes we women need to take action and strike up a conversation on our own. Sometimes we, too, need a pick-up line.
It's true that most women aren't used to making the first move. But in doing some research on this subject, I was surprised to find how many women actually look down on other women who use the sort of tactics I'll be talking about in this article. "If he doesn't show his interest first," they say, "then you just come off looking desperate."
But nothing could be further from the truth. Most men like it when women approach them, as long as they do it in a fun, casual, and flirty way. And the type of men who finds a confident, assertive woman to be desperate, well... they're probably not the type you want to be dating anyway, right?
If you're willing to come to an internet dating site looking for love, there's no reason why you shouldn't be able to chat up a man or two next time you're out with your friends at a bar. The important part is to do it right. Read on for a few ideas for subtle (and some not-so-subtle) conversations starters with men.
1. Trip and fall.
Seem silly and obvious? It is. But that doesn't mean it's not effective. If you stumble slightly and fall lightly against a guy (or even into his lap), you'll automatically capture his attention. And because you've shared such close physical contact so soon, if he's interested he won't be able to help striking up a conversation.
2. Ask his opinion on your order.
Is there a cute guy sitting at the bar when you walk up to order? Pretend to take your time thinking about what you want, then ask for his input. "Hmmm... I want a vodka martini but can't decide what vodka to get! Which do you think is best?" It'll make him feel helpful and manly, and is the perfect conversation starter. After all, men love to offer advice.
3. Ask him to help carry a drink.
If you've spotted somebody interesting up at the bar, offer to go and order drinks for a couple of your friends. Stand next to him to order. Then, when the time comes to carry the drinks back to the table, look anxious for a moment and then ask for his help. "I'm so sorry to be a pain but could you carry one of these for me? If I don't get these drinks to the table soon my friends will eat me alive!" You never know... you may decide to buy him a drink to thank him for helping out.
4. Ask about something he's wearing.
Spotted a guy wearing a cool-looking vintage t-shirt or a sharp blazer? Chances are he thinks it's pretty special, too. Ask him where he got it, and immediately make him feel good.
5. Ask for his musical assistance.
This one works in a couple of different ways. Does your local bar have a coin-operated juke box? Then come up to Mr. Cutie and ask him if he can give you coins for your bills. Does he seem interested? Then tell him you'll reward his help by letting him choose half of the songs you're paying for. If you don't have a juke box nearby, you can still use the music to start up a conversation. If there's a good song playing, ask him if he knows who the artist is. There's no predicting what kind of conversation might spring from it.
6. Talk about sports.
Most men love women who are into sports. Is your favorite team playing on the big screen at the sports bar down the street? The put on your favorite team's cap or t-shirt and go watch it. You never know what kind of male "friends" you might make in all that sports bonding and rivalry.
7. Bet on him.
Hanging out and watching a sexy guy play pool? Let him know that you and your friend have placed bets, and that you've bet he'll win. Then put on your naughtiest smile and tell him if he loses he owes you five bucks. Or a drink.
8. Scope out his phone.
Men are all about their gadgets. If you spot somebody interesting playing with a sharp-looking new cell phone (or other gadget), ask him if it works as well as it looks, and if he would recommend you buying one. He'll love talking about his new toy, and explaining all of its fancy ins and outs. Just don't interrupt him while he's talking or texting, or you'll come off pushy.
Shayners
23 / Male
Comments: 1
Posted on June 23, 2009, 9:21 am
OK, as i guy, if a girl did any of these, AND I MEAN ANY ONE OF THEM, they would come off more sexy then if you waited for him to make the move. It really is true the majority of men love it when girl strike up the conversation. Hopefully then he can continue it, thats the next step. But ladies take this adivce to heart, it will work, i promise you.
Posted on July 1, 2009, 5:29 pm
Thanks, Shayners! I think these all sound like fun ideas, though I'm not sure I'd have the guts to try them all myself. I'd love to hear here from somebody who has! :)
Julietteisreal
39 / Female
Comments: 5
Posted on July 21, 2009, 1:37 pm
I think they are great suggestions and most seem pretty easy to do! Now if I can only remember them when I see a cute guy! PS- I think men could benefit from some of these too, instead of just leering at a girl!!!
PeterHall
22 / Male
Comments: 1
Posted on September 15, 2009, 7:36 pm
So totally true! I hate to say this, but I think most Men are clueless when it comes to finding out if I girl likes them I know I am. So ladies dont be so subtle.
