Most people who use internet dating sites to meet singles haven't given up entirely on the more traditional methods. And so you go out to bars, you hang out with friends, and you do your best to get invited to parties where you might meet other single people. But being invited is the easy part... the hard part is what you do when you actually get there.
Want to attract people to you at a party and keep them there? Read on for eight ways to do just that.
1. Go to the right places.
Of course, the first thing you need to do to be a successful single person at a party is to, well, be at the right party. While parties among the same group of friends you see all the time will be fun, there's not all that much chance of being exposed to new people. So getting invited to the right kind of parties often means getting outside of your comfort zone. Get to know people outside your normal circle, and you'll get access to all sorts of interesting people you might not have met otherwise.
2. Look fabulous.
Ah, this is an obvious one, right? Especially if we're single and looking, most of us try to look our best when getting ready for a party or event. Of course, we only have what nature gave us to work with. If you're beauty personified, you probably have very little trouble attracting people to your little corner of the room. But even if you don't look like the hottest thing that ever walked through those doors, you'll get the same effect if you act like it. Confidence is magnetic; if you think you're absolutely gorgeous, others will too. Fake it if you have to.
3. Know who you'll meet.
Especially when going to a party with a new circle of people, it's a good idea to know what kind of people you're going to be meeting. So ask smart questions of the host before the day arrives: what age group the attendees are, what most of them tend to be interested in, and if there's anybody in particular you should watch for. The more prepared you are for the kind of conversation you'll be called upon to make; the better you'll do at actually making that conversation.
4. Create an approach strategy.
After you've arrived, you should hopefully spot somebody interesting you'd like to approach. But before you do, take the time to create a strategy to make that approach look and feel natural. If you know more or less how you're going to introduce yourself and how you'll get the conversation started, you'll radiate confidence rather than red-faced embarrassment.
5. Think of a few questions.
Getting a conversation started is hard. If you have a good opening statement but it doesn't really get the ball rolling, it's a good idea to have some backup on hand. Before the party, spend some time thinking up questions to ask people to get them talking. Generally, open-ended questions encourage reciprocation. And before you know it, you'll be talking naturally together rather than sputtering along. The less pressure you feel to come up with something good on the spot, the more natural, confident (and therefore attractive) you will seem.
6. Focus on them.
The quickest way to make somebody feel good about themselves (and therefore make them feel good about you) is to make them feel like they're being very interesting. Don't talk much about yourself; instead, ask them questions about who they are and what they're interested in. When they talk about themselves, don't just listen quietly, but ask probing questions to show that you find what they have to say interesting. People are automatically attracted to somebody who makes them feel good about themselves. So making them feel this way is a great way to get yourself noticed.
7. Know how to sell yourself.
It's often a dreaded question: "So, why don't you tell me about yourself?" What do you keep in and leave out? What kind of thing is the questioner really hoping to learn about you? The more you think about the answer to this question beforehand, the more comfortable you'll feel when it is inevitably asked. Think of a few short sentences that sum up who you are in a winning and positive way.
8. Be utterly engaged.
People who are engaged in conversation are also engaging-- they can be magnetic and mesmerizing. When talking to people you meet at a party, don't be afraid to make lots of eye contact, try to stay consistently engaged in the conversation (that means you need to brush your nervous worrying aside and actually listen!), and don't be afraid to add an occasional touch to show how interested you are in what a person is saying.
The truth is, the more liked and accepted a person feels, the more apt they are to like and accept you in return. If you follow the tips on this article next time you're at a party (or even the next time you meet somebody from an internet dating site for the first time), you'll be surprised at what the minor amount of planning involved can do for your social skills. And for your ability to attract and keep the interest of people of the opposite sex.
