For some, dirty talk is one of the things that really heats up their sexual relationships. Just hearing their partner say what they want, what they like, and how they're feeling takes sex to a whole new plane. But if you're not accustomed to using dirty talk during sex --say, you generally prefer to be quiet, or feel funny using sexy language-- the idea of giving your partner what they want can seem a little daunting.
Fortunately, learning to use dirty talk is actually pretty easy. All it takes is a little bit of practice and a shot of confidence in yourself and your sexuality. And the process of learning itself can be a big part of the fun-- if your partner wants to hear more dirty talk in bed, chances are that he or she will be will to play along and lend a hand, making a game out of this bedroom taboo.
Does your partner love a little bit of dirty talk, and you need to build up to courage to give it to them? Read on for our simple guide to learning to talk dirty.
Talking Dirty
When you decide to be a dirty talker in bed, it's getting started that's the hard part. Just opening your mouth to let the words out feels like you're sticking your neck out for ridicule or even shame. Many of us are taught at a young age that using dirty words and talking about sex is bad. That it's shameful and something to be avoided, even in the bedroom.
But that's simply not so. Talking dirty can be a great way to enrich your sexual relationship, communicate your desires, and get everything you want in bed. And doing it is nothing to be ashamed of.
If you're thinking to be a better dirty talker in bed, there's a good chance that your partner has specifically expressed an interest in hearing you get down and dirty. So the best way to start off is to reaffirm to yourself that you're giving your partner what he or she wants. Really want to be sure you do things right? Come right out and ask them what kind of things they want to hear. If you're open with your partner about what they want to say and hear, you can easily prevent any discomfort that arises from saying the wrong thing in bed at the wrong time. So be sure to ask them if there are any words or phrases that they don't want to hear-- and be sure to speak up if there are any that you don't like. This is a good tip if you're still internet dating and only using dirty talk during chat, too.
When the time comes to finally use dirty talk in bed, one of the most important things you must do is... take is seriously. If you're not used to using dirty words or even talking in bed, it's all too easy to smile or laugh to break what you see as tension. But this also breaks the mood, and may ruin the whole experience for you or your partner. So don't get started until things start heating up, or you may let loose a giggle or a snigger-- not a great mood setter.
The best way to get used to using dirty talk in bed? Simply speak your thoughts aloud. Too many people think things like "that feels good," or "I hope he doesn't stop," without saying them aloud. Tell your partner what you're feeling, remember what he or she wants to hear, and the rest will --bit by bit-- take care of itself over time. And it'll be fun, too!
Wanting dirty talk in bed is perfectly normal, perfectly common, and all-too-easy to give. Giving your partner what he or she wants in bed is a great way to spice up and enrich both your sex life and your relationship. And with dirty talk, you risk nothing-- the taboo of sexy talk in bed just makes the whole thing more fun for you both.
