When I was a part of the online dating community I often received very positive feedback about the profile I wrote. Comments such as "your profile is really the best I have ever read" and "I really like how you express yourself" and "I don’t usually enjoy reading them but your profile is so different" were not unusual. What did I do that other women didn’t? I thought, what would a man like to hear about me?
Men do read our profiles. It’s whether or not they remember them in a good way, that’s crucial to women’s success with finding our first last date. Women write from an emotional point of view about what they would like to hear. What we need to do is compose a profile with a man’s perspective in mind instead of writing in a style that leaves the guys feeling bored and frustrated.
Here are 8 of the most common ways women sabotage their chances of attracting the right man:
1. Not Using Proper Spelling and Grammar
("I am definately up for meating knew freinds...")
Can you really say you would find that attractive? Many people can't spell. Let that be an endearing quality for later, not a turn off for now. That's why there's spell check.
2. Starting Every Sentence With "I"
("I want...I have...I know...I am...")
Too many aren’t good. Your profile will be stamped Narcissist and tossed in the out box . And who will there be to nurture that sweet honest dependable man that just passed you by? I know, it will be those many other women who have written fantastic unique and fresh profiles. Such a shame for you.
3. Representing Yourself Inaccurately
("I am really into camping, going to the games and drinking beer.")
Do you really think he won't find out? Guys don't want to waste time on someone who isn’t a good match for them. Always, be yourself. Your perfect guy is waiting in the wings to sweep you off your feet.
4. Airing Your Baggage or Sounding Desperate
("Need a Man...Don’t know what to say...Been heartbroken in the past...Just looking for a friend to take a journey into this sorrow world and get joy out of it...")
And watch how fast they run! How many men are out their saying "Looking for a girl with 2 broken wings" Men like to fix things like your closet door that’s coming off it’s track, not the hole in your heart left over when your ex dumped you. That's your job to do before you venture out again into the world of dating. Keep that door closed. Save it for a trusting relationship.
5. Forgetting to Fill In The Blanks
("Interests - none selected...Height - prefer not to say")
What are you hiding. For a man, finding the right partner is like shopping...the first thing they want to see is the price tag. Give them something to work with.
6. Putting Your Kids First
What you say: "I am a fun, pretty, adventurous and busy single mom of 3 kids. My life is full...anyone who is a parent will understand this. I have a good life, great kids and amazing friends! At the moment I am a stay-at-home mom...so if you have a problem with this then please...move on! I am not looking for a "DAD" as they already have one. I am not looking for someone to "take care of me". I can do that myself."
What guys hear: "I have no time for you. I hope you make a lot of money and my ex is always going to be a part of our lives."
They want to date you, not your kids.
7. Acting Like a Diva
("I want a guy who will treat me with the respect I deserve...I don`t want a man who is into head-game drama...Things that annoy me most are self obsessed, self centred people... I will NEVER forgive dishonesty and lies...I am looking for a prince, no frogs, please!...If you are unable to deal with this then don`t make contact")
Come on! Whatever happened to etiquette and finesse? If you want to chase them away you are on the right track. Leave the trash talk in the bin and try opening a jar of honey. Works every time.
8. Sounding Ambiguous
("I never know how to describe myself...I'm not even sure I'd ever really have the guts to meet someone online...I guess I'm easy going...I'm sure there are a lot of great guys on here but it's hard to tell")
And you're saying THAT in your profile! Blah! What a turn-off to hear about how uncertain and insecure you are. You won't snag a man like that.
And Finally, A Few "Dos" When writing your profile,
o DO find fun ways to tease and entice a man’s interest such as saying
"Do you want to share a secret?" They’ll love it!
o DO show your wit and humour, like the woman who wrote "My sister says I'm boring, stubborn and demanding, lol.....but say HI anyway.....she never was a good judge of character ".
o DO be creative with what you like. Make it sound so unique that you stand out from the rest of the crowd.
o DO drop the clichés such as my glass is 1/2 full. Instead, try saying something like the candy dish is never empty. Let them in on a few of your quirks. Men love when you give them something to work with. It makes for simple icebreakers when they can`t wait to email you.
o Men can and will read between the lines. You are letting them know exactly who you are with what you write so DO be careful how you phrase things.
o DO proofread, then ask a friend, who can be more objective, to read it over and see if it sounds like 'you'.
Remember, it`s ok to have baggage. Everyone has a past. You just want to find someone with matching baggage for your trip together. Put it in the overhead bin and have a good time!
