Internet dating isn't the only thing that's changing the way relationships look today. People are getting more and more flexible about what happens in their relationships-- and about what happens in the bedroom. While there have been alternative types of committed relationships for decades --even centuries-- these sorts of relationships have been in the media more and more often in recent years. And while most "mainstream" couples struggle with the idea of these sorts of relationships, alternative commitments are legitimate, they're real, and they're here to stay.
Are you a one-woman-or-man kind of person? Then there's a good chance you've never experienced an "alternative commitment" of your own. Read on to learn a bit about the ways in which people commit to each other-- while living much freer sex lives than your average Joe.
Swinging.
Of course, practically everybody in the world has heard about "swingers." Heck, you run across a lot of them at internet dating sites. But most of us imagine "swingers" as slick-haired 1960's husbands and their sleek-skirted wives, a martini in one hand and their car keys in the other. But while swinging began in the early 50's (when most swingers found each other via personal ads), how it looks today is very different. Today, there are all kinds of organizations that cater to people living this sort of lifestyle, and the most common (and easiest) way to meet swingers is at a swingers club.
Generally, people who swing care just as much about their commitments as other married couples. But they simply don't see sex as part of the equation. Swinging gives these couples a free outlet for their sexual desires and allows them to be adventurous... but to do it together.
Soft swinging.
Soft swinging can be a lifestyle choice all its own, or it can be a way for committed couples to get their feet wet (so to speak) with the swinging lifestyle. Soft swinging is sexual, but it doesn't involve actual sexual intercourse between couples. This kind of thing can range from having sex in the same room as another couple (or couples), to oral sex, to group sex. In general, soft swingers will not actively change partners, but participate in sex acts together or within sight of one another.
Swapping.
Swapping, or wife swapping, traces its roots to the Air Force in the 1940s, when sex between pilots' wives and other pilots became something of the norm. In the past, wife swapping was generally synonymous with swinging. But today, these practices have slight differences. There are many couples out there who practice swapping without actually swinging or attending swinger parties. Instead, they generally develop a relationship with just one or two couples, and swap partners as desired between couples.
Polygamy, Polyandry, Polygyny.
Polyandry, which is the marriage of one woman to several men, and polygyny, the marriage of one man to several women, are simply the two main types of polygamy, or plural marriage. While most cases of polygamy you hear about today involve polygyny, both are currently practiced around the world. In fact, some of the Mormon faiths that are so famous for practicing polygamy actually practice both polygyny and polyandry.
Open marriage.
While people who swing generally expose their sexual lifestyles to the open (or at least to a group of like-minded people), open marriage is a much more private version of the same thing. People who live in open marriages have full commitments to their husbands or wives... but those commitments don't generally include sex. In an open marriage, either one or both parties in a marriage are free to have sex with people outside the relationship, whether it is with one consistent sexual partner or a string of different partners.
Some people see sex as a sacred part of a romantic commitment. Others, however, take a much more practical view. They see sex as something to be explored and enjoyed-- and something that doesn't have a significant effect on their committed relationships. While these people's lifestyles can seem a little strange for those of us with more "mainstream" preferences, the truth is that everybody's needs and desires are a little bit different. And if it works for one couple, who's to say that it won't work for another?
