You've finally found somebody great on a free internet dating site. You took a look at each other's profiles and liked what you saw. You started to chat each other up. And, with time, you started to develop an internet relationship. But because of distance or a whole host of other reasons, you've never yet taken your online relationship into the real world.
Now that some time has passed you're more than a little afraid to do so. What if taking you relationship offline severs your connection? Will your internet dating relationship survive life in the real world?
Why You Fear
If the description above sounds familiar to you, don't worry. It's perfectly natural to be afraid when it comes time to take an online relationship offline. That fear stems from several different things, and all of them affect us --and our relationships-- in different ways.
Rejection One major reason why many internet daters fear taking their relationship off line is the big "R" word. Rejection. Sure, you get along well in a chat room. You have plenty in common and you talk well together, making one another laugh and developing a bond. But that doesn't mean your internet dating partner will feel that same connection in person. He or she may find you unattractive, uninteresting... or simply reject you straight away.
Disappointment Another major fear that plagues those who have not yet taken their relationship offline is disappointment. When somebody seems so wonderful, you pin a lot of your hopes on them actually being that way. And so, deep down, you worry that this new person will be just another disappointment. Will he or she be as funny or interesting in real life? Will you be attracted to them? Sometimes the fear of being disappointed can be enough to stop you in your tracks.
Warning bells Sometimes you worry that the "too good to be true" man or woman you met on an internet dating site is going to disappoint you. Other times, however, you feel it. It sometimes happens that a person who seems so perfect in so many ways sets off little warning bells in your head. When your subconscious senses that something about them just isn't right, it can make the rest of you feel reluctant to move forward.
Tips for Taking the Plunge
There are lots of reasons to be scared of taking your internet dating relationship into the real world. But you've got to take the plunge sometime! After all, that's why you joined an internet dating site in the first place. Need a little help jumping into the deep end? We've got some tips to help move things forward.
Talk about your feelings Tell your online partner just how you feel. If you're scared to take the relationship offline, tell them so, and tell them why. Also be sure they know how interested you are in deepening your connection. If you get an assurance from your online partner that they feel the same way, you'll probably feel a lot less skittish about taking the plunge.
Transition slowly Sometimes a slow transition is the best thing-- especially if you're skittish by nature. One day, take your online romance to the phone. Another day, get a webcam and talk face-to-face from the comfort of your own home. This sort of slow transition can make the difference between jumping right in and letting you get your feet wet first.
Give time between meetings If your first in-person meeting has left you feeling awkward about your relationship, let it cool off a bit. Take some time before another in-person meeting, and go back to chatting together online for awhile. Let your partner remind you of why you were so comfortable with them in the first place before you give it another try.
Use lots of reinforcement And ask your partner to do the same. Via email or your internet dating site, let him or her know how you felt about the first meeting. Give plenty of positive reinforcement via email, ensuring that your partner knows you want to keep moving forward. If you keep communicating with each other throughout the process, the transition will be that much easier.
