Everybody wants a partner who cares for them; one who is attentive, who is thoughtful, who is dependable. Heck, those are three things you probably see all the time on free internet dating profiles. But there's a big difference between a loving and thoughtful partner... and a clingy one.
There's nothing in the world (except perhaps cheating) that can kill a new relationship more quickly than a partner who is needy, clingy, or smothering. Unfortunately, though, it's easier to be clingy than you might think. And plenty of people are guilty of it without even realizing what they're doing.
You always know when you're dating a clingy or smothering partner. But you don't always know when you're being one-- and your partner is just too nice (for now) to say anything about it. Want to be sure you're not coming off as a clinging ball of need? Read on for five big warning signs that you're a clingy boyfriend or girlfriend.
Sign 1: You Don't Have Plans of Your Own
If you're so involved in your boyfriend or girlfriend's life that you don't want to make plans just in case he or she wants to do something, it's a big sign that you're too clingy. If you're always available for a last-minute date because you don't want to make plans in the first place, you're just begging to turn your new sweetie off. While it can be oh-so tempting to want to spend every second with your new sweetie, the trick to a happy, healthy relationship is... not to. Try to keep your life going as it did before, and fit your new partner into it. It's the only way to really strike a balance.
Sign 2: You Ditch Your Friends
When you have a new love in your life, it's perfectly normal to feel like you want to be with them all the time. So when your new partner calls up to make plans --and you already have some-- it can be tempting to blow off your plans and go out with your sweetie. Don't. While doing this means your being a bad friend on one hand, it also tells your new partner that you're at his or her beck and call. Which is not a good place to be, and in all truth, not somewhere your partner probably wants you.
This is true of internet dating relationships just as much as traditional ones. If you have plans and your sweetie wants to chat, don't give up your plans to do it. Good friends are just as important as a boyfriend or girlfriend... something which can be all too easy to forget.
Sign 3: You Adopt Their Interests
There's a difference between being open-minded about your boyfriend or girlfriend's interests... and giving yourself over to them completely. Just because your new boyfriend loves monster truck racing doesn't mean you have to give yourself over to it. It's okay to share things together... but it's not okay to lose yourself in your partner. Not only will it leave you bereft of who you really are, it'll also seem mighty unattractive to your partner over time. They like you as a person... not as an extension of themselves.
Sign 4: You Don't Give Space
Every relationship, both in internet dating and offline, needs space to breathe. While it's normal to want to be with your new partner as much as possible, it's hugely important to allow him or her a little space. If your new boyfriend or girlfriend wants to spend a night out with friends, let them. Don't ask any questions, and don't call them every hour to see what they're doing. If you keep your partner under lock and key, there's a good chance that they'll try their best to break free.
Sign 5: You Can't be on Your Own
From running errands to eating out to buying clothes, not everything you do in your life needs to be done with your partner. If you don't feel like you can go on your own to the gym or the bank, there's definitely a problem with your perspective and priorities. You never want to lose you individuality for your relationship; not only will you regret it, but your partner, too, will begin to lose respect for who you are. It's not a great way to get started.
Kdog
24 / Male
Comments: 4
Posted on February 25, 2009, 6:50 pm
Well done post... Thanks for the read- I need to remind myself often to stop being clingy... It's real hard when your a very affectionate person...
Denise02
23 / Female
Comments: 2
Posted on March 30, 2009, 1:20 pm
That is all true when you become clingy an forget about youself an only put your partner first , due time they start to forget about you. "belive me i know"...
