Once you get past the early days of your relationship (meeting through a fabulous internet dating site, going out the first few exhilarating times, etc.), people in relationships have this terrible habit of going from thinking that everything is perfect to looking for things to be wrong. And can you blame them?
The only reason we’re involved in a new love affair in the first place is because, undoubtedly, we had one that previously went wrong. After enough failed relationships, our brains kind of get programmed for eventual disappointment. We have to recommit ourselves with every new first kiss to the mission of optimism; we can’t let our sads from the past keep us from believing in the possibility of a happy future.
One of the most common ways in which couples start the cycle of self-doubt is by questioning the health of their sex life. Maybe you go on vacation with another couple and realize that, despite all the time they’ve been together, they go at it all the time.
Never mind that it might be because they just made up from a big fight, or that’s just how they get on vacation, or maybe that’s the only area in which their relationship really works…the truth is, you can never really know what is happening inside anyone else’s bedroom.
Believe me, every couple is messed up and awesome in their own ways. Regardless, if you’re having thoughts that maybe you and your beloved aren’t getting down and dirty as often as you should, there are a few things to think about:
Consider: How much sex were you having?
Every couple is different. This is especially true when talking about sexual habits and frequency. If you judge your relationship against every other one around you, you’re going to drive yourself crazy and possibly sabotage a good thing with someone. The one couple you are allowed to compare you pairing with is yourselves in the past.
Remembering where you were is a great way to judge where you are now. On the subject of sex, looking back at romps-gone-by is a good test of your bedroom health today. Did you used to get frisky like bunnies at any given chance but now it’s a more rare occurrence? You might have a problem to get to the bottom of.
Keep in mind, however, that pretty much all couples see a post-beginning decline in oh-my-god-I’ve-got-to-have-you-right-now-ness. It’s a bummer but it’s an almost universal occurrence. I mean, at some point, you might stop feeling the overwhelming urge to get busy in the coat room at a restaurant. That’s nothing to worry about; you’re just settling into the next phase of your relationship.
That said, the next phase should be as sexually satisfying as the first. If it’s not, you should probably dissect your union and get to the bottom of things.
Consider: Are you both happy?
What’s up with so many people being concerned about the facts and figures of this super primal activity? Sex is not like accounting. It’s not like filing your taxes. You don’t have to necessarily weigh the numbers and dates and keep score. The bottom line is, are you feeling happy and fulfilled? Are you getting down and getting off enough to keep you both feeling great? If the answer for both of you is ‘yes’, then stop your worrying right there. Whether that means you’re doing the horizontal mambo 2 or 10 times a week, it’s all the same.
If the answer for one or both of you is ‘hell no!’, then you need to figure out why. Often, the reason couples hit a sexy slump is because they get too comfortable. When something isn’t new and exciting, we’re less inclined to go for it whenever we can. Getting physical can become (shudder) routine for a lot of people.
But don’t worry! This isn’t a reason to dump your sweetie and move on to something hot and new with someone else. It is my devoted opinion that there is always uncharted sexual territory to cover. Next time you and your love are having sexy times, try a little, “hey, you know what I’ve always wanted to do?” And then go for it.
Mixing things up, even in small ways, will remind both of you that you don’t have it all figured out yet. There’s still a big, sexy frontier out there. So why worry about keeping up with the Bones’ in terms of how much you’re doing it? You’d be much better served by concentrating on making your unique sexual relationship as thrilling and fulfilling as possible.
Ice_Breaker
24 / Male
Comments: 1
Posted on March 31, 2010, 11:32 am
no am not having it... its been 8 months that i has sex... i swear the moment i hav sex the female is gone, i will make her go mad... i vil fuck her veryyy bad... :-)
Tinkertoy
53 / Male
Comments: 1
Posted on April 9, 2010, 5:30 pm
I was married for 24 yrs. Divorced for over 2 yrs.now. So yes over 2 yrs. is a very long time to go without!! I can't agree with using sex as an indicator for how good the marriage was. Our sex life in all those yrs. In all that time I can honestly say there was no significant drop. She wasn't the type of woman to hold back if she had an issue. I was always satisified & made sure she was also. It wasn't as thought it was just a job for her & I'm not naive she could have had someone on the side. But for her to come to me as often as I approached her. You see my point.
So to get to the question" am I getting enough " well imagine going from 24 yrs. steady sex
down to 0, nothing notta & it sucks big time!!
Milkie_Way
44 / Female
Comments: 1
Posted on April 26, 2010, 11:55 pm
If it's common sense that singles get less sex than those in a relationships, why is it that so many men online are just seeking "friends with benefits", or some other sort of casual affair?
Don't men want to have sex on a regular bases anymore? Sure, sex is easy to find if you're willing to go with anybody and have a different lover each week. But it seems to me that this is a lot of work for something that's uncertain. There's disease to consider and you're not even sure if you're going to get a good lover each time. On top of that, single women get approached by men constantly on online dating sites. If all you have to offer is sex without strings, you're not really standing out from the crowd, woman can get that anywhere. I'd love to have more sex, but playing the feild is not my thing. I am so not having enough sex. Was way better being married or living with someone.
Sweet30s
39 / Female
Comments: 1
Posted on May 10, 2010, 11:26 am
oh geesh...why is it that men ask me, why are you still single?? well there are some very nice men left in this world but in bed just plain b o r i n g...I am not talking about wanting whips and chains, no I do not want to dress up as anything, I just want good, exhausting, sex, and of course if I care about him making love is a plus. I want someone that can handle 1 or 2 times daily, why is this sooo difficult?? And then there is the whole I get 25 to 30 year olds...well I do not want a young person ...I want a mature man, 35 to 45 is ideal for me. Yet these 30 and 40 somethings want a 20 year old girl who does not know the 1st thing about oral sex. And so me and my dildo have become the best of friends...
Muzikull
42 / Male
Comments: 3
Posted on May 18, 2010, 3:14 pm
lol,if none is enough? i can't handle anymore :)
Hamad_Ali
21 / Male
Comments: 1
Posted on May 20, 2010, 9:37 am
Lolz..I love sex iam 20 years old.. had sex aloot of time,...love sexxx... any girl wana have sex...m thereee... i alwayz satisfies womemm
Monie
41 / Female
Comments: 5
Posted on May 22, 2010, 7:45 pm
I don't know why sex is such a big issue these days for men AND women what ever happened to taking things slow, getting to know one another and being romanced, nowdays ppl just want to jump into bed (remember thats how VD and all the other horrible diseases started), make a man or woman work for it
Picklepete
51 / Male
Comments: 1
Posted on September 1, 2010, 9:32 am
I Guess after 10 year without sex I am a virgin too
Sharkysa
35 / Male
Comments: 1
Posted on September 2, 2010, 4:10 am
I don't need it I only cant get enough at once. I'm 33 years old still marriad, but having a problem i can't help thinking of having sex with other women (as i don't love my wife but for the sake of my kids I have to stay marriad still), we still have sex 1-3 times daily. And I don't need to talk big my best was still just over 14 rounds in one night. Ok that might be a few years back but I can still push about 8-10 rounds of done it a few weeks back again (Just depending on the partner). I Love small build women it fasinates me, I'm also not a big guy I'm about +/-6.2feet and weights about 80kg. And I Will never supports sex workers or pay for any sex related things. Thats my storie good luck guy's and laddies. May We all find what were looking for.
Lonelydouglas
53 / Male
Comments: 2
Posted on February 17, 2011, 8:46 am
no i am not haveing sex with any one.its been a long time for me.(1998)last time .and i live in erie pa.im not willing to cauch a non courerable desease.for no one.
Zach_Kuhlman
26 / Male
Comments: 1
Posted on February 24, 2011, 8:03 pm
Yeah I need to with a straight girl message me then
The_Great_M
21 / Male
Comments: 1
Posted on March 1, 2011, 6:14 am
i never had sex in my life but i want to have sex:(
Lonelydouglas
53 / Male
Comments: 2
Posted on June 12, 2011, 9:04 am
8 month is'nt nothing its n 1998 for me.D/D free,and can count on one hand the ladies i'been with can you?.I'v never cheated on any of them,
Jennysong
23 / Female
Comments: 3
Posted on August 2, 2011, 8:54 pm
I found a great site """ su;;ga"rcupi@d.com """ It's My favorite dating site. It is a serious& safe dating site, the best for online dating beginners and serious people.It is focus on the rich and successful man dating hot and young girl. I found my love here. I have to say it's he best site I have ever joined so far. They verify all members. Unlike other sites,NO scammers or fake profiles here, and you can meet many rich or beautiful singles as well, including celebs, famous stars.BEST OF LUCK! It 's where you have the opportunity dreaming about dating a millionaire and make it true.
Blinkey
51 / Male
Comments: 1
Posted on August 27, 2011, 10:46 pm
I don't get enough of it.I wish women think of sex as much as us men do.all they want is love.while us men just want sex.anyway sex is healthy for u.a men should be able to walk up the street and when a girl see him.she should take her clothes off right there and then.lay down let us have it.wouldn't it be great if they do that.no need to waste money buying the flowers and wining and dining.I like that.so who wants sex with me.msg me if u do.xox
Glen_A_Jackson
43 / Male
Comments: 1
Posted on September 2, 2011, 6:59 am
hrm - I could take this question at face value, and say of course!
But that is solo. XD
With a partner? Seriously lacking. But to be fair about that one, I am very experienced, rather choosy in a regular lover, demanding once I find one who can keep up, and am just about 98% living in the wrong country to do anything at all about it, without converting religions & getting married.
~~~
(end P1)
Maryxiao
24 / Female
Comments: 7
Posted on September 13, 2011, 8:55 pm
Rich and successful. Single or married, you have no time for games. You are looking to mentor or spoil someone special — perhaps a "personal secretary"? secret lover? student? or a mistress for an extra-marital affair? it’s all about sugarbabymeet.c0m.
Kelvin_Smith
35 / Male
Comments: 1
Posted on October 2, 2011, 4:13 pm
am not having enough sex because my girl does not like flesh to flesh
Alanlove
64 / Male
Comments: 1
Posted on November 4, 2011, 4:21 am
Not had any for 3 or for years but open to offers ;)
Auggy37
57 / Male
Comments: 3
Posted on January 13, 2012, 8:44 pm
Honestly I would love to have sex more than once a day. In bed on the couch or near the fireplace . Any where I want just as long as there is sex for me. I'm a man that could take what women can give on sex every day or hour after hour it doesn't make me any differance.
Bring it on.
