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I may be a woman, but I think I understand the stress that men go through: asking a woman out for the first time is an incredibly nerve-wracking experience. From what I hear, your palms get sweaty, your vision gets blurry... and all you want to do is walk away from what seems to you to be very probable rejection. Being an "I don't want to make the first move" type of girl, I may not know how it feels, exactly... but I get that it's not a nice experience. So I try to be gentle with men who come around to chat me up.

But it doesn't make much of a difference... because rejection hurts. The ideal thing would be to do the whole dating dance without risking that first painful stab of rejection when you ask a girl out. But it would also be ideal for double-fudge cupcakes to fall from the sky when it rains. It just isn't going to happen.

However, guys, you can reduce your chances of getting rejected. How? Well, it's all about the timing.

Find Out Her Relationship Status

There's really no point in gathering up the courage to ask out a girl that already has a boyfriend. Fortunately, though, most girls are pretty good at letting men know when they're unavailable. They'll pointedly mention their boyfriend "in passing" or even tell you flat out. If they don't? Ask. It's that simple.

Here's another simple rule of thumb: if she's spending a lot of time talking to and flirting with you, she's probably available. Makes sense, right?

Figure Out How She Feels About You

No, you're not a psychic. And no, you're not an expert on reading women, either. But if you watch for them, you should be able to recognize the signs that she likes you, or that she doesn't. If she does any of the following, there's a good chance she's interested in you:

• She approaches you first
• She touches you often
• She smiles a lot
• She seems nervous around you (plays with her hair, bites her lip, etc.)
• She's not afraid to get close and share your personal space.

Watch her body language. If she seems angled or leaning towards you, she's paying attention. If not, chances are her attention is with something, or someone, else.

Decide if it's the Right Time

Figuring out if it's the right time to ask a woman out is actually simpler than you might think. If you think you'll get another chance at it, wait. See? Wasn't that simple?

A man who doesn't show his interest right away, but simply talks to a girl and forges a connection, will be more attractive than a man who seems too eager. So if this is the first time you've met a particular girl, and you know you'll probably see her again, it's best to wait. This works best for girls who you meet through a mutual friend, or through a regular activity that you both share (like a class).

If, however, you don't think you'll see this woman again...go for it. Sure, rejection hurts. But what do you have to lose except your pride? And think of it this way; if you know you'll never see her again, you won't have to worry about feeling embarrassed around her some day. "One time" girls are perfect for practicing your "asking out" skills-- and developing a thicker skin for rejection.

No matter how long you wait to ask somebody out or how deeply you look at the signs (does she like me? Does she not?), there will come a moment when you just have to... take the plunge. No real reward comes risk-free, after all. So take a deep breath, psyche yourself up... and get out there!

Good luck!

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