Most people who use free internet dating sites like Datepad are fairly honest about who they are. Sure, they may make their job sound more important than it is or fudge a bit on their weight, but when it comes to the important stuff --like whether or not they're married-- most online daters are honest. But when you're talking about a group of people as huge as that on online dating sites, "most" is not the same as "all." And that leftover section of not-so-honest men can still be a significant number.
No matter what you do, there's always a chance that a man you meet online won't be straight with you about his relationship status. And most of the time, the fact that these sorts of men find you has nothing to do with what you put on your internet dating profile; these guys are out there looking for just anybody, and your profile fit the bill.
Still there are some kinds of profiles that tend to be targeted by men who pretend to be single more often than others. Read on to learn how to word your profile to reduce your chances of this happening, and how to spot this sort of man once he's arrived on the scene.
Writing Your Profile
Do you find that you attract more than your fair number of married guys on dating websites? There might be something in your profile that is triggering a response in them. Look over your profile for any indication of desperation, loneliness, neediness, or overt sexuality. Since these sorts of men are generally looking just for sex, they keep their eyes open for the type of women who seem desperate to be with somebody. If your profile gives even the smallest indication that you're this type of women, married men may see you as an easy target. Even if, in reality, you're not.
Warning Signs He's Married
He says he's separated.
Some men online are legitimately separated from their wives and say so on their internet dating profiles. But others are simply unhappy in their marriages (or just looking for a little extra fun), and use "separated" as a way to bridge the lie with the truth. But that doesn't stop it from being a lie.
There's no photo on his profile.
Imagine you're a married man looking for a little extra on the side. Would you attach your photo to an internet dating profile, where anybody you know might run across it? Probably not. If he prefers to send you a photo via email rather than place it on his profile, something is probably up.
His answers don't match up.
When you ask him what he does with his day, his answers don't sound like what a single man would say-- or they're completely inconsistent. When what he says doesn't make sense, it generally means he has something to hide.
He won't give out his home number.
Before you know somebody well enough to trust them, for a woman to give out her home number is generally a bad idea. But most single men are pretty comfortable providing a home number after meeting or just talking to a woman they meet online. If he wants to avoid giving you his home number and doesn't have a very good reason why, there's a good chance he's worried about who might pick up were you to call there.
He just wants sex.
Again, most married men you find on internet dating sites are just looking for a bit of extra sex on the side. So if somebody you meet brings up the subject of sex quickly, or it seems to be all he wants when he's with you, there's a good chance that it is all he wants. Because he's getting everything else he needs from his wife.
He doesn't let you into his life.
When you meet somebody on an internet dating site, your relationship generally takes a natural course. And one of the steps along the way is becoming a part of one another's lives. If he doesn't invite you to his home, or only wants to talk to or see you at strange times, there's a good chance he's got more going on at home than he's told you about.
The truth is, there are always going to be liars and cheaters on internet dating sites-- just as there will always be in the real world. And while you can't avoid them completely, you can reduce your chances of being fooled by them by being a careful internet dater. Ask questions about his life --what he does in the evenings, what his job is, etc.-- and evaluate whether or not his answers are consistent with what he's told you about himself.
Find somebody you like but suspect that he may be married? Inform him of your suspicions. He'll probably deny it... but if he is hitched, chances are he'll never call you again.
