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"Look on the bright side." And, "Just keep smiling, and before you know it, you'll feel happy." You've probably heard a thousand times, and in a thousand different situations, that you have to have a positive attitude. And when things haven't been going well for you, you've probably wanted to tackle the person giving this unwanted advice and shut them up with a healthy length of duct tape.

Since I'm far enough away to keep myself safe from any of my more avenging readers, I'm just going to say it: the key to dating successfully is keeping positive; not just having a positive attitude, but having a positive mindset.

What is a positive mindset? A positive mindset is an outlook that you carry with you all the time... a way of looking at the world that will always help you to see the bright side of bad situations, to make healthy choices in your relationships, and to "keep on keeping on" in the topsy-turvy dating world. And while becoming a positive mindset dater takes practice, it can be done. So before you start, take your entire negative "positive mindset my ass" thoughts and toss them out. We're going to learn to look on the bright side.

One of the first steps in becoming a positive mindset dater is to learn to take rejection, and then let it go. When you ask somebody out, or are rejected after a date or two, it's important not to dwell for more than a moment on the rejection itself. Instead, look around you (both literally and figuratively) and ask... "Who’s up next?" It may take an almost physical effort to leave thoughts of your rejection behind, but if you always keep a forward momentum, it will be much easier to maintain a positive attitude.

Just remember that there are a lot of people out there to date. There are so many fish in the sea, in fact, that it would be a shame not to give more of them a try. Rejection hurts, and while it can be a painful experience, it can also be an opportunity. Learn from it and move on to somebody new-- and probably better.

Having a positive dating mindset is also about learning not to apologize for who you are. Just because somebody rejected you, or because you feel you're not the most successful, or good looking, or interesting person somebody could ever date does not mean you should apologize for it. You are who you are, and you're worth something. And that's that.

A person who apologizes all the time ("sorry I look terrible, I was in a rush," or "I made brownies but they aren't very good, sorry...") comes off as somebody who does not respect him or herself, and so does not deserve the respect of others. Stop apologizing for who you are, and don't let the fact that you're not perfect get you down. Nobody expects you to be perfect, and you don't need to be in order to be happy and successful. Stop looking for reassurance from others and find it within yourself... it'll feel great, I promise.

Lastly, keep a positive mindset when you look into the future. When you have a bad date, or meet somebody who isn't your cup of tea, don't let negativity take over. No, this date didn't work out, but that doesn't mean the next one won't... or the one after that... or the one after that. Every bad experience is both an opportunity to learn, and an opportunity to move on. If you look at dating with a bright and positive eye, you'll not only be happier, you'll also be more successful in your relationships. Because a positive attitude is the sexiest, most attractive thing you can bring with you on any date.

In the meantime, you'll have a ton of fun Hold on to your positive mindset and you'll never have to try to look on the bright side again... all you'll see will be bright!

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