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This article is intended to help educate any woman who is considering or may be involved with a married man. Heed these three words….Don’t Do It! The difficulties and pain associated with being the other woman are much too great to ignore. In my case, my ‘love’ affair damaged my self-worth and my vitality.

It began as a fairytale, complete with promises and words of forever loving me, trips away together, a ring, even fantasies of building a life together. He said and did all the right things. I was living in a different world, a world where nothing was real. We spent countless hours together, mostly spent in my bed. The sex was always hot and sexy, almost erotic….just simply amazing. He wooed me and had me believe that I was ‘the one’. In return, I lavished him with my caresses and listened to him as he spoke about his life, his business, his future plans and all of his dreams. What I gave him physically was something that ultimately he came to believe was his eternal right. He wanted me exclusively, but he couldn’t possibly endure the agony of hurting his wife.

What you come to realize in this situation is that any man having an affair wants you to believe that he needs YOU more than his wife. He wants to keep you, but it’s always at the least possible expense to him. You analyze every stolen moment in the hopes that there is some hidden meaning of a ‘forever’ scenario. Yet at the end of your so called magical and heated encounters together, you watch him shower before he goes back home to his wife and end up feeling like a prostitute.

What we, the other women, don’t become conscious of, is that we are simply a milieu for him where he can physically take what he’s been deprived of at home. We give them the ego boost that they need without compromising their public persona. We are the fantasy component that they have missing in their lives and that they crave so desperately, without the burden of domestic life or of having a wife and family. It is a fantasy relationship with no ground or foundation.

If that isn’t convincing enough, statistics can speak volumes as well. Here is food for thought (what an irony that statement is….)

“Less than 1% of men leave their wives for their girlfriends – although nearly 53% said they would.”

“Those who do divorce, rarely marry the person with whom they are having the affair. In fact, less than 1% of men who have an affair, will divorce their wife and marry their lovers. Even in cases where the wife has passed on, do they marry their lovers.”

“50% to 70% of women had no idea their husbands were having an affair.” That’s probably due to the fact that their husbands played their roles well at home as the perfect husband.

I once told him, “I want someone to love me one day as much as you love your wife...to love me enough that he would sacrifice his soul to keep me from being hurt.” Yet at the end of it all, it was I who sacrificed my soul. I sacrificed my self-respect as a woman as well as my dignity.

So for any woman contemplating having an affair with a married man, heed these three words….Don’t Do It!

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1

Chloe

Posted on January 29, 2008, 8:23 am

Well said Isabelle.

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