Whether you met through internet dating or in a more traditional manner, when Christmas Day happens to arrive at the beginning of a relationship, or you want to celebrate a short anniversary just for fun, getting that "first gift" can be a little nerve wracking. You want to pick up something that your new boyfriend or girlfriend will love, but that won't say more than you're ready to say. It can be a difficult balance to strike.
Gifts shouldn't be too lavish or expensive
Even if you really care for the person you're dating, your first gift to them shouldn't be too expensive. Choose an item that won't make them feel strange or that makes them feel obligated to you somehow. The best thing is to set a price limit on that first gift together, and stick to it. Show that you can be thoughtful and personal without having to spend a lot of money.
Gifts shouldn't reference the future
When you start a new relationship, you can never be sure if it will work out or not. So the best first gift for a new relationship is one that is temporary, that doesn't require your partner to think of its place in his or her life in the future. Some good "fleeting gift" ideas are:
Flowers. Flowers are beautiful and romantic... and utterly temporary. Choose something special and personal, but don't pay too much. And deliver them yourself for a more personal touch.
Food. Take your partner out to a nice dinner, or, even better, cook one yourself. This can be a great gift, as it gives your partner something special and lets you spend quality time together. Want to really impress him (or her, too)? A big batch of homemade cookies is a never-miss.
Tickets. Like food, buying tickets for a show or event allows you to give you partner something that gives you a chance to spend time together. Surprise your partner with something he or she will love, whether it be a football game or an evening at the ballet.
Small Trips. If you feel comfortable with the idea of traveling with your new boyfriend or girlfriend, you may want to think about taking a small weekend trip. Do something fun and not too "couple-y." Skip the frilled-and-flowered "Sweetheart Room" at a Victorian bed and breakfast, and go somewhere casual, personal, and fun.
More permanent gifts can be great, but if you're dating somebody who is not ready for a long-term commitment, it can be a quick way to scare them off. Permanent, long-lasting gifts can put more pressure on a relationship than you intend to. So it's best to play it safe with something short-term and simple.
Gifts shouldn't be too big
I mean this one literally. Don't get your new partner a first gift that takes up too much space. Think you'd like to get your boyfriend or girlfriend a piece of furniture, an appliance, or a large decorative bust of John Adams? Use this as a rule: if your partner has to make room for it in their home, it's probably not a great first gift.
Keep it Personal
No matter what you choose as your first gift in a new relationship, the most important thing is to give it a personal touch. Going with simple flowers? Then find out what her favorite flower is, and buy it for her in her favorite color. Want to buy him tickets to see a show? Go to his favorite comedy club, even if you hate his favorite comic.
The most important role of the first gift is to show your new boyfriend or girlfriend that you care for them and know who they are. So think creatively; learn their favorite author, actor, animal, or color, and go from there. As long as you mean what you purchase, your boyfriend or girlfriend will appreciate your gift. The thought really does count.
