It's interesting to see what happens to the divorce rate as time passes. What used to be one in four marriages ending in divorce has now come to one in two. It's a fact: half of all first marriages end in divorce. And while many marriages end quickly, others take a long time dying. If your first or second marriage ended after a long stretch, you may be looking for love later on in life than you expected. Fortunately, you're not alone-- even if you might feel like you are. There are more than 40 million single people over the age of 50 just in the U.S! With so many choices out there, you have no excuse to not to look for love. It won't happen on its own, but if you work at it, there's no reason why you shouldn't be able to find the right person the second (or third) time around.
Tips for Dating in Middle Age
Be honest
After dealing with lying spouses and difficult situations in a marriage, most people looking for a partner later in life value honesty above almost anything else. When dating, it's all too easy to fall back into a routine of embellishing and exaggerating. Don’t. Start off a new relationship with total honesty, and expect the same in return. While this is good advice for anybody starting an internet dating relationship (or any relationship) it's an especially sticky area for older daters.
Get out there
When you're younger, you're more used to putting yourself out there. You know what to do and where to go to get a date. But when you're older, it often becomes a lot more difficult. Simply getting out of the house and putting yourself in social situations can be hard. And it's even harder to work to gain somebody's interest and "sell" yourself once you get there. But a simple smile and a word of greeting work wonders. Don't close yourself off-- love may be around the next corner or in the next line at the grocery store.
Look in the right places
When you're 50 or more, the idea of working the bar scene to find dates is probably not so attractive. And wouldn't be so successful in most cases. Instead, search for a partner in the places you're most like to meet somebody appropriate. Internet dating sites are a great place to start, as are activity groups.
Have fun
Most over-50 daters have already experienced the drama and unpleasantness of a difficult relationship (or, more likely, several!). And so most of them are --like you-- looking to have fun. Don't take dating too seriously. It's okay to take the search for that special someone seriously. But have fun while doing it. Because if you're having fun, you're also being fun. Which is the perfect thing to attract others to you.
Know what mistakes you made
Marriages generally end because of poor communication, incompatibility, etc. Before entering into any new relationship, know what you did wrong the first or second time around. It's the best way to prevent making the same bad decisions again.
Don't choose a project
This probably applies to women more than men: women often tend to choose a "project" relationship. When you're younger, it's easy to think that what you don't like about a man (or what makes his lifestyle incompatible with yours) will change. With time, however, you discover that simply isn't true. When dating later in life, it's easy to repeat the same mistakes. You don't have time to suffer through the disappointment of a "project" relationship. Instead, set standards for what you want, and don't bend them.
Know what's important
Just as many women tend to make bad marriages when they're young because they don't set high enough standards, men make them because they don't set priorities. While sex and physical attraction are important later in life, too, companionship and compatibility are also important. Men who go into dating with good ideas of what is really important are taking a good first step towards finding success. Roses4mysoul Posted on February 3, 2009, 8:03 pm Good article, Chloe. As an older dater, I'd like to add a few things. If you're just starting out dating after an ended relationship, spruce yourself up. Ask a coach (not a close friend) to look you over from a dating perspective. Friends tend to tell you what you want to hear. If something needs fixing, DO IT. Get to the dentist, the barber, the hairdresser, the cosmetics department, the gym. Besides, if you look good, you'll feel more confident. Posted on February 4, 2009, 8:00 am Thanks for the feedback Roses4mysoul, it's much appreciated. You make an excellent point about "sprucing up"! Roses4mysoul Posted on February 4, 2009, 9:19 am Here's more. Be interesting. If you feel kinda blah, it will SHOW. Get interested in your community, interesting goings-on, interesting places to explore. When you (guys) ask a woman out, have PLANS on what to suggest and where to go, at least after the first coffee date. Also, take stock of where you are now. We don't want to hear where you USED to live, USED to work, hobbies you USED to have. We want to know where you live , work, play NOW. More later.Choosing Well the Next Time Around
70 / Female
Comments: 21
70 / Female
Comments: 21
