Your kids are the most important things in your life. You would do anything for them, and that will never change. However, you're more than just a parent. You're a vibrant, intelligent, and sexy adult with needs of your own. And you're an adult who deserves to have a healthy social life. Transitioning from parent to partner can be difficult, especially following a painful separation.
As a parent, your most important job is, of course, meeting your kids' emotional and physical needs. And that is partly why you owe it to your kids and yourself to start dating. Kids are smart; they know when you're not happy. Your unhappiness and resentment will be a lot harder on them in the long run than a few hours away on a Saturday evening. So put away your wedding ring, shop for a few new outfits, and get ready to date.
Preparing your Life
When somebody with kids decides to dive into the sometimes-scary sea of dating, they have to remember that their kids are going to feel a splash or two, as well. So the whole family has to be considered... and dating when you have kids is a lot more complicated than just slapping on deodorant and running out the door. Before you get started, take some time to organize your life. Make a schedule that allows time for everything you have to do: work, errands, kids, and finally, dating. Also put together a list of reliable babysitters, and have them ready for your call. Hopefully, you'll be able to give them plenty of work!
Preparing your Emotions
Next you need to prepare yourself to be totally honest about your situation, both with your children and any potential dates. Whether you plan on meeting people through traditional dating or using free online dating sites, start off by being honest. Though it may make you a little nervous, "I have kids," is a first date revelation; don't save it for later. And if you're using an internet dating site, that information needs to go on your profile. After all, you want to attract the kind of people who want to have a family, don't you? The best way to do that is to provide this very important piece of information right up front.
You also want to be honest with your kids about what you're doing. Though it varies from case to case, of course, most professionals suggest that single parents be open about the fact that they're dating with their kids. They also advise that, even if your children don't approve, with time they will learn to accept and eventually respect your choices.
As parents, we feel guilty for almost everything we do that doesn't make our kids the priority. Spending time away from them so we can have a social life. Spending money on new outfits or nice dinners. Leaving them with a babysitter when they'd rather be with you. It's painful, but it's necessary. Because sacrificing your happiness for your family only breeds resentment.
If you don't allow yourself a little bit of happiness, how can you be expected to give your kids the care and love they truly deserve?
