There are so many bits of misinformation and altered facts and unwise opinions floating around about sex that I don’t even know where to start with knocking some of these sassy falsities off their high horses. Truth is, sex is fluid…it changes with time, it changes from person to person; there’s really no tracking what exactly is true and what’s not. That’s part of the fun.
However, I have to take a stand and at least attempt to do my part to debunk some of the sex myths that I’ve been hearing since I knew what “orgasm” meant. Here are a few that I believe could use some clearing up:
Orgasm = good sex
Once and for all, men, an orgasm might be your final finish line but it’s not necessarily the case for women. Now, I’m not saying don’t pay attention, pick up on signals and do everything in your power to make that happen for your partner (we may not cry ourselves to sleep without coming, but we sure as hell like to do it) but know that if it doesn’t, well, sometimes it just doesn’t. And that’s okay.
Sex can still feel amazing with no finale…and it just gets us geared up to go again. What really ruins sex is having our partner be frustrated and surly when the deed is done because he couldn’t get us off. Any woman worth the trouble would be much more satisfied with an overall great experience than one where you both end up moody and unhappy.
Bigger is better
Just…no. This is simply untrue. I dated this guy one time who was, like, the Mt. Everest of penises: each time I could conquer a little more, but doing the whole thing would be the accomplishment of a lifetime…and might leave me permanently physically damaged.
I never ended up climbing to his peak but I got close and from this (and a few other similar, and opposite, experiences), I’ve learned the following: bigger is not always better. In fact, bigger can be scary. Bigger can be uncomfortable. Bigger can be impossible to enjoy, at times.
I’m not going to lie: most women enjoy a sizable package from time to time. It’s like looking at a whole chocolate cake…hell yes, we want some! But that doesn’t mean that just one piece, if it’s really good, can’t be just as fulfilling. In fact, most women would take the much more artful, interesting and satisfying bit of cake over the big sugary monster anyday.
Men always want demure, submissive sex partners
Disclaimer: a lot of men do relish the chance to play the strong, manly, throw-you-down type in the sack…and thank God for them. But there are others (and even some who just like this some of the time) who enjoy getting down and dirty with an old fashioned femme fatale every now and then.
They want a woman to show them what’s what in the bedroom…to call the shots on when they want it, how they want it and where they want it. If you’re the type of gal who has always enjoyed being the submissive one in your sex-capades, give the control role a try…you might love it.
