It's human nature to wonder if there might be something even better than what you have just around the corner. Heck, I do it with my iPod. I'm not capable of listening to the thing on "shuffle" without skipping over to the next song after about thirty seconds of play. Even if what's playing is a song I love, I want to see what's next... and what's next... and what's next. I'm always thinking there might be something better.
This same sort of "grass is always greener" attitude also gets in the way of successful internet dating, as well. Sure, you've met somebody you like... but with so many options out there, do you really want to give up on all the possibilities and focus on this one less-than-perfect person? What might you be giving up if you do?
Sometimes having too many choices can get in the way of making the right choices. It's all too easy to think that even though you've found a good match, there's someone even better out there waiting for you to find them. If you tend to move on to the next person before you really have a reason to, it's probably a good idea to do a little self-analysis. Next time you feel like dropping that otherwise-awesome guy or girl without really knowing why, ask yourself the following questions:
What is this person missing?
If you feel unable or unwilling to focus your attentions on a single good match, you have to ask yourself why. What is it you're waiting for that this person doesn't have? Hopefully, when you started internet dating, you made a list of the qualities you wanted a potential mate to have, and decided which ones were most important to you. Is your date missing some of those key qualities? Or does he or she hit most of the important things on your list? If it's the second, then maybe it's time to ignore the "but he or she isn't perfect" voice in your head and take a chance. Because perfect doesn't exist.
Have I really taken the time to get to know this person?
Sometimes you just need time to figure out whether or not you really connect with somebody. For most of us, a few good conversations on an internet dating site and a great date or two doesn't do it. It's okay to take your time and wait until you're sure you like somebody. But you'll have to leap at some point, and chances are there will be things you don't know about the person you leap with no matter how long you hold out.
Who have I met that I like better?
Sure, the grass is always greener on the other side of the cyberfence. But... how green have you seen it get? Have you met other people on internet dating sites that have struck you as just what you were looking for, and this person doesn't? Then you might be right in thinking you should move on. But if you've been internet dating for a long while and can't really pinpoint a person you've liked better, maybe you should give this person --who is, after all, the "best" person you've met online-- a chance.
Could I take this person seriously as a partner?
If you're serious about finding somebody to spend your life with online, you want to have serious feelings for the people you date-- in more ways than one. If you look at your priorities, goals, and points of view and find that they mesh up, you may want to give your date a chance. You never know what other connections may develop as you get to know him or her better.
Am I having fun?
If you're having a good time hanging out with somebody, what's the harm in taking things a little further? You may find there's more there between you than you originally thought. And even if you don't you'll have a blast trying it out. Dating is supposed to be fun, too, after all.
No matter how you meet people, through internet dating or at a bar or a bookstore, you've got to face facts: nobody is perfect. The chances of meeting somebody who's perfect for you in every way are slim to none. And it's also important to remember that you're not perfect either. Still, you hold out hope that the people you meet will take a chance on you, flaws and all. Maybe you should do the same for them!
