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Doubts About Internet Dating? 6 Things that are Holding You Back
By Karenlyn   ◊   Jun 4, 2009   ◊   Published in Dating   ◊   0 Comments

Thinking About Love

Internet dating has been around for over a decade, and a lot of people have tried it. Unfortunately, some of the people who could benefit most from this method of meeting people shy away from it. Everybody has their own reasons for doubting the effectiveness of internet dating. Whether you've never tried dating online or have tried it without success, it's a good idea to put those reasons aside. Because if you work hard at it, online dating really does work.

Doubtful about joining a free internet dating site, and think it may not work for you? One of the following six things is probably what's holding you back.

You don't know how to start up a conversation online. When you talk to somebody in person, it's easier to start up a conversation. You can ask what they're drinking or what the slogan on their t-shirt means, etc. You also have an instant connection; and a good indication of whether or not this person would be a suitable match for you. But while it can be a little bit harder to think of something to say online, in a lot of ways it's actually easier. Why? Because you have plenty of time to think. Using the information found in a person's profile, you have plenty of topics to use in your first communication with the people you meet. Just be sure to choose profiles that give you that information and you won't run into any problems. Mostly-blank profiles aren't going to give you the help you need.

You don't know what to include and what to leave out on your profile. Let's face it: it's impossible to truly sum yourself up as a person in a short internet dating profile. So this becomes a big question: what do you tell people about yourself, and what photos do you choose for your profile? While the answer to this question is different for each person, there are some guidelines to follow. Generally, you want to choose interesting facts that are unique to you, and fill your profile with personality, warmth, and humor. Don't let the sheer number of options daunt you... you can always go back and make changes if you don't get a response.

You don't get to know people in internet dating-- and you can't tell much from a profile. Because a profile can't tell you everything you want to know about a person, it's easy to think that meeting somebody on an internet dating site means getting to know them in a shallow, superficial way. But think of it this way: how much do you really get to know somebody when you have a conversation with them in a bar or a club? Is it really more than you learn from their profile? Probably not.

The best way to think of an internet dating site is as a way to have access to people who may interest you if you were to meet them in person. These sorts of sites aren't generally intended to be your main method of communication, rather a quick introduction. You shouldn't necessarily expect to get to know someone well online; you should generally do that in person.

You never find anybody good. A lot of people have tried internet dating for a short time, only to come across very few truly good candidates. When this happens, it can be common to give up, and to write internet dating off as an unsuccessful method. But especially for women with a nice-looking photo (who often get bombarded with messages from unsuitable matches), successful online dating is just as much about searching out good candidates as it is about sifting them out from among the ones who have already contacted you. If you take the initiative and do creative searches here at Datepad, for instance, you'd be surprised at the number of interesting prospects you end up with. You can't always wait around for that perfect date to find you-- go out and find them, instead.

There are too many internet dating sites to choose from. This is one of those complaints about online dating that makes me throw my hands up in frustration. The fact that there are so many dating sites is a good thing! While you don't want to spread yourself too thin, you don't necessarily need to stick to just one dating site. With general dating sites like Datepad and religion- or interest-specific sites, you have all the options you'll ever want. Try them out and see which ones work best for you. It's part of the fun!

There are too many scams and liars on internet dating sites. It's true that dating sites tend to have some members whose intentions are less than honorable. But if you practice internet dating safety (there are plenty of articles about keeping safe online right here at Datepad), you shouldn't have to worry about scammers. When it comes to online dating, you've got to trust your instincts. If somebody you met online seems too good to be true, he or she probably is. Listen to that little voice, and move on to the next person.

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