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Putting up a great online dating profile is only the first step in successful online dating. You also have to be able to write a great email! While women who date online often tend to sit back and wait for messages to come to them, it's important for both sexes to be proactive in online dating. If you find a profile you like... respond to it! But respond to it right.

1. Write fresh

A lot of people use an almost identical template for each online personal ad or profile they respond to. But this is the quickest way to have your message completely ignored. If possible, write a fresh message for each person your reply to-- even if it's only a quick paragraph. Plan to send out a lot of responses? Use a bare-bones template that is easy to personalize, and that doesn't look like a template. And be sure to reference their profile several times.

2. Spark his or her interest

And do it quickly. There are a lot of ways to spark a potential date's interest when you reply to their profile. Say something interesting and provocative. Make a joke. Give them an odd fact. Whatever you choose to spark a person's interest, do it quickly. Most people make a decision about the person messaging them in the first paragraph.

3. Respond for real

One mistake many online daters make is to read a person's profile, and attempt to send them the kind of response they think that person is looking for. But this often comes off as false and insincere. The best thing is to respond sincerely to the things in a person's profile that you actually like. Be real, and be honest. It will show through in your message.

4. Check your grammar and spelling

Okay, some people (me for instance), are sticklers for spelling, diction, and all that good stuff. Others don't care so much. But if you show in your email that you're a good communicator (and a careful one), your message will be far more appealing. And readable.

5. Tell them what you like

In your message, be sure to specifically reference what it is you liked about the online profile you're responding to. Don't talk about a picture that wasn't there, or use a non-specific phrase to describe your feelings. "U seem real cool," is bound to get your message deleted. Instead, talk about their love for horses or Moby Dick, and make several specific references to their profile. Don't be afraid to share what you like!

6. Use humor

Nothing will get a person's attention more quickly than humor. Use a touch of humor in every message you send to a potential date, and watch your number of replies grow and grow. Make a joke. Talk humorously about something you read in their profile. Relate to what somebody has written about in a comedic way. Humor is the best way to show that you're somebody who is fun to be around. Which is the best way possible to get a date.

7. Don't get too personal

Unless the person you're messaging specifically mentions it in their profile, sexually charged and overly personal comments are off limits for the first message. Keep it clean and light, and not too personal.

8. Write like you speak

One of the biggest mistakes people make in sending out email responses to online dating profiles is to "write uptight." If you write as though you're giving a political lecture or talking to the board, you'll turn potential dates off faster than you can say "I'm boring." Don't worry about impressing potential dates with your ability to write convoluted sentences, and just write the way you speak. The more fun and readable your writing, the more enthusiastic your responses will be.

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