You can't just pick a card, any card, so how do you pick a card? What should it say? Should it even say anything? Should it accompany a gift or can the greeting be the only “gift”?
There are many in the basket of greeting cards often labeled as “relationship breakers”: Christmas, Valentine’s Day, birthday, thinking of you, get well soon, anniversary types, workplace and engagement. Even the act of not sending one is in itself a message that speaks volumes, especially if you are dating someone who thinks you are in a relationship.
Whether online, print, videotaped or one you’ve made yourself, there are six key areas to think about before making that purchase and pressing send, presenting it in person or licking that stamp:
Should or shouldn’t I?
Choose your own intention. Gift giving is personal. Try not to follow the crowd on Valentine’s Day or your friends who say you have to give one. Ask yourself: what do I really want to say to him/her? The card or video becomes your message. Behind it lay your motives; I want to get closer, or not so much, or maybe—eventually.
The words.
Pick words that match your intention and your motives. Read them out loud as if you were on the receiving end. How would you interpret this? Be happy with the writer’s words or sprinkle in a few sentences of your own, perhaps adding a famous quote, story or joke.
The picture(s).
Pick those cards, captions or e-videos that you feel would be visually attractive for the other person. View it as if you were the person receiving it. Pictures can say a thousand words so choose wisely. For example, a cute cover photo of a dog in a gift box says something different than a woman dressed only in a strategically placed red ribbon.
The delivery.
And you will send it how? Personal, postal or electronic means? Make sure you are timely and accurate especially if it’s a birthday, anniversary or special occasion. Many people still love to get postal mail from their lover.
The signature.
Pick a closing or signature that is relationship appropriate and sensitively matches your motive. This can be a delicate decision. It can be a pet name, your full name, with XOXOs or a lipstick kiss. Decide if you want to put words like “love”, “from”, “sincerely yours”, “truly yours” or nothing but the first initial of your first name. The closing of your greeting is what he/she leaves with as its end.
The Reaction.
A phone call, an email, a “poke”, “tweet” or a “nudge” later perhaps or a greeting card back to say thanks would be great! And then again, maybe there’s that silent reaction—the one that speaks volumes about their intention. But if you haven’t heard anything from them within 24-48 hours after sending your greeting (longer if it was by post), then ask them personally about it. Things do get lost, sometimes, maybe.
