There are all types of men on free internet dating sites. There are hopeless romantics and down-to-Earth guys... and there are also total players, just as there are in the traditional dating world. Online, players are often easy to spot. They brag and talk about sex in their profile. They get way too personal way too soon. You can see them from a mile away.
But others are much more subtle. And this means that they generally much more successful. How can you tell if the guy you're chatting with on an internet dating site is for real, or is just in it for a one-night stand? Read on for some warning signs that you're talking to an internet dating site player.
They use sexual innuendo. The obvious internet players are the ones who talk about sex from the get-go. They might ask you about your cup size or what you like in bed. But some players are much more subtle about sex. They use innuendo or suggestion to gauge your interest in having sex with them, and use that information to "plan their attack," so to speak.
They want lots of pictures. If somebody is online only to find somebody to sleep with (and doesn't want to be straightforward about it), they're going to care a lot more about looks than your average guy. Sure, all guys care about what you look like. But if they're looking for a real relationship, just confirming that you're acceptably attractive should be enough. Internet players, however, may ask you for more and more photos to confirm that they want to make the effort to sleep with you. If looks is all he cares about, chances are he's not serious-- and not worth spending time on.
Their photos are suggestive. Sure, he might have a nice body. But if all of his photos are shirtless or even overtly suggestive in nature, chances are he's not really looking to connect with somebody. His focus is on the physical attraction much more than on the mental and emotional one.
They don't play it straight. The longer you chat with somebody on an internet dating site, the more quickly you can get a feel for whether or not they're being honest with you. Since most players don't care about getting to know you or letting you get to know them, they tend to be dishonest when answering your questions. If you ask the same questions more than once over time and get different answers, it should be a big warning sign that he's trying to pull one over on you. A guy who's serious about dating is serious about showing you who he is. A guy who just wants to sleep with you is only serious about telling you what he thinks you want to hear.
They get intimate. Growing intimacy is an important part of any developing relationship. But women tend to get there more quickly than most men do. If a guy you're internet dating tries to talk intimately to you before it makes sense, it may be that he's trying to manipulate you by pretending to care more than he does. Sure, some guys develop quick attachments. But when this happens, be on guard. All may not be what it seems.
They're not interested in you. For most online players, the chase is part of the fun. They don't actually care about getting to know you-- instead, they enjoy feeling the power and excitement of getting what they want from you. This kind of narcissistic behavior is sometimes easy to spot. If a guy you're dating asks few questions of you and talks mostly about himself (especially in a boasting way), he probably doesn't take internet dating as seriously as you do.
Sometimes, you just can't tell when somebody you're dating is the real thing... or just playing a game. So while you don't want to close yourself off to potential contacts just because you're feeling paranoid, you don't want to allow yourself to become a victim, either. Be open minded about the men you date, but trust your gut, as well. If something in you tells you he's not playing straight, chances are you're right.
