I think pretty much every woman out there has felt the agony of wondering... "why the heck doesn't he call?" Maybe you met in person for the first time after internet dating for months. Or perhaps you've had several dates that seemed fabulous to you, but now leave you wondering. Or maybe you're even in a serious relationship, and wondering why the phone, all of a sudden, doesn't seem to want to ring.
You're wracked with indecision. Do you wait around? Or do you pick up the phone and find out what's up?
Look at your relationship. If somebody you're seeing suddenly becomes the Invisible Man, the first thing to do is take a look at your relationship. If you've only had a date or two, or have just been chatting with him on an internet dating site, give it some time before you panic. If, on the other hand, the guy in question is a steady boyfriend, it's definitely time to worry. If your relationship is serious, you have a right to expect a more-than-occasional phone call. If he's not picking up the phone, there's a very good chance there's something wrong.
Wait it out. Especially if you're at the beginning of a relationship and have had, say, just a date or two, you probably want to wait it out. Lots of guys think that calling a woman too quickly after a date will make them look desperate, needy, and therefore undesirable. They think that making you wait a few days will make you believe they're worth having. Gives him a chance to show you how "busy and desirable" he is. Do other things instead of waiting by the phone, and don't panic.
Count the hours. No, this doesn't mean you should wait by the phone, counting the moments until it rings. What it means is that, while waiting is recommended, there comes a point where it's a waste of time. Wait a few days; if that wait goes on into a week or so, you might want to give him up for lost. He's either not very interested, or is the kind of jerk who would want to leave a girl stewing for a week or more. Either way, you're better off on your own.
Call him. Tired of waiting around hoping he'll call? Give him a call yourself to set your mind at ease. Maybe something happened with himself or with his phone (hey, it's unlikely but it's possible). Or maybe he's not interested and doesn't want to tell you about it. If he gives a lame, implausible excuse for not calling, it's time to put the phone down and move on: he probably isn't interested.
Realize: It's not you, it's him. Sure, it's possible that you did something to turn him away. But probably not. And even if something you did say or do is the problem, it's important to realize that the problem is his, not yours. Unless you embarrassed yourself horribly or called him the wrong name all night, his allowing himself to be bothered by something you said or did simply shows that he has issues of his own that are completely outside of you.
Here's a case in point. I was once dating a guy for just over two weeks when we met together to go to a movie. It was our fifth date. The one we wanted to see was sold out, so I dragged him into The Wedding Planner, as I have a not-so-secret crush on sexy Matthew McConaughey. After a week of no phone calls, I later found out that he got freaked out because I took him to a movie about weddings. Hey, it was his loss, not mine.
