When you part ways with a significant other, inevitably, it’s not just the two of you involved. People love a little drama and naturally, everyone who knows you will want to weigh in, or at least watch, as it happens. This can sometimes be helpful, sometimes be annoying.
Either way, when the dust settles, these same people are still going to be around. And maybe more than either you or your ex, your mutual friends will be the ones keeping score to see who handles the breakup better…and you can be damn sure they will be reporting this information to your ex.
Since you obviously don’t want to be the sad, can’t-move-on, low road-taking ex-girlfriend/boyfriend, I would suggest the following tips to break your chains with class…but still get all the breakup venting and dirt you so deserve:
1.Don’t talk s**t…at least not in public
This is why we have close friends. Post-breakup, everyone needs the friends who you know you can scream about his teeny peen too or her fake boobs without later having a personal shame-fest about your immature gossip. Sure, it’s immature but who cares?!
I think we all deserve to devolve every now and again. Just make sure when you do it, and when the issue-at-hand is a past lover, that you’re in very private quarters. No one wants to be known as the person who takes the low road after a relationship…even if we like the go get drunk and play there sometimes.
2.No drunk-dialing. No sad-texting.
It’s just no good. Wait till the booze and/or your case of the sads passes and if you still think you have something legitimate to say to your ex, then maybe give a call. But I can’t think of many reasons why this would be necessary.
3.Don’t relentlessly ask for check-ups…
…from mutual friends. No one likes the friend who is also asking for updates on their ex.
4.…but do know who the gossip-y mutual friends are
Know that there are always a few people who are chummy with you both who love to tell stories and will always be willing to indulge you in tales of what your ex is up to. People like this will probably also tailor the stories to fit your mood; sometimes you want to hear that your past love is miserable and alone and living off of Ramen noodles, cheap booze and regret…other times you want to hear that he/she is moved on and doing well.
Just be careful not to wear this friend-source out too much…don’t use this person just for this. And don’t be an emotional cutter. Only ask about him/her from time to time, if at all.
Kadybug
28 / Female
Comments: 2
Posted on January 20, 2010, 9:25 pm
Fantastic tips, thanks for posting that! I wish more people knew and applied these tips, especially #1 and #4. Sadly mutual friends usually become a friend to one person after a break-up or divorce, but stops talking to the other person. Or mutual friends become way interested in what each person is doing, and report their ex's every move to the other. Also not in good taste and painful. You're very right--people like drama too much. Sad.
