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Are you willing to take excuses?

If somebody you’re dating stands you up, doesn’t call, or doesn’t keep to his or her promises in general, how should you feel? Annoyed, of course. But if your only reaction to his or her half-thought-up excuses is blind acceptance, well… you’re acting a little desperate. While you don’t want to rant and yell and scream about it, making sure that your date knows you expect, and deserve, better shows him or her that you respect yourself. This is just the impression that you want to create. Because you do respect yourself… right?

Do you agree with things that, really, you don't agree with?

We’re probably all guilty of this one. If you’re talking to somebody you really like, you might let slide some comments or opinions that you would normally disagree with. All you want to do is smooth the waters and keep the conversation flowing. And while you (of course!) don’t want to be contrary and argumentative, it doesn’t mean you shouldn’t assert yourself. Your date will be able to sense when they’re talking to a “yes-man”, and nobody respects a person without an opinion of their own. Besides, there’s nothing more attractive than somebody who thinks for him or herself… and does it well.

Do you lie about yourself?

People can sense when you’re being insincere. Maybe not consciously, but if you lie about who you are or what you do or how you feel about things, deep down, your date will know. Don’t be afraid to be who you are... and don’t apologize for it. Lies, even little white ones, are a waste of your time, and the trademark of a desperate dater.

Do you feel that it's been so long since you've been in a relationship that you'd do anything to have one?

Here’s a promise; if it feels this way to you, it looks this way to somebody you’re dating. And no, you can’t help how you feel… but before you go out with somebody, set aside some time to remind yourself that love will come when it comes… and don’t put so much pressure on this one potential partner.

Do you jump into bed before you're ready?

My policy is this: sleep with the person you’re dating whenever you BOTH are ready. If you don’t feel like you’re ready to hop into bed, but are afraid he or she will take off, then let him (or her). You don’t want to appear desperate, and you don’t want to set up a pattern of “gotta please ‘em” behavior in your relationship. It doesn’t tell your date who you are, and doesn’t start things off on the right foot.

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