Between the combination of your online profiles and any chatting your do beforehand, when you meet somebody on an internet dating site most of the "basics" are generally covered by the time you go out on a first date. And while that can be a good thing for telling you how interested you are in another person, (and for giving you something to chat about online) it can sometimes make things a little more difficult when you finally do meet in person. When you already know most of the basic facts, it can be difficult to think of anything to ask them.
But of course one of the most important elements of that first date is asking questions that will encourage telling answers. These questions should not only give you basic information about your date, but also tell you what kind of person they are, how they look at life, and how compatible they might be with you.
Met somebody on an internet dating site and psyching yourself up for that first date? Don't stick to the ordinary questions about "what do you do?". Instead, ask questions that will truly tell you something about your date's point of view. Ready to try? Read on for 5 telling questions to ask a first date. Just for fun, they're ranked in order of how dangerous they are; some are simple and super safe... and others might encourage a different reaction than you expect. Use them at your own risk!
Safest: What has struck you most during the last five minutes?
You can be that nobody you meet on an internet dating site has been asked this question on a first date before. And the answer to it is not only telling, it can also be a heck of a lot of fun. When you ask this, you're basically asking what your date has been paying attention to. Be sure they understand that the question is not how they feel about you, but what they've noticed and how they feel about the world around them.
Ask them to describe what they've seen and felt (at, say, the restaurant where you're having dinner) and what they're seeing, hearing, and feeling right now. And then let their answers tell you what you need to know.
What do you find out when you ask this question? You find out how sensitive, sensual, and observant your date is. And you also find out if they're spontaneous and easy-going. An uptight date won't be able to come along for the ride. A fun and relaxed date will.
What one thing will always make you crack up?
This is a general question that most people fail to ask on the first question. And the kind of answer your date gives will give you quite a window into his or her personality. Can he or she not articulate an answer? Then maybe they don't have a great sense of humor, or don't know themselves well. Or do they have a long list, followed up by their favorite joke? How you react to their answer will tell you just as much about your compatibility as the answer itself.
If you could choose one dream to have come true now, what would it be?
Knowing what a person dreams for in life tells you a heck of a lot about their perspective. Do they dream of traveling and seeing the world? They they're probably the passionate and adventurous type. Or do they care more about doing something in particular with their career, or making progress with a particular project? How close his or her dream is to your own will tell you a lot.
What was your childhood like? What were your parents like?
This one can be a little dangerous, as many people issues with their parents and with their childhood. But if you have a very practical view of the kind of relationship you'd like to be in, this can be a great question to ask. Why? Because people who had happy, stable childhoods and healthy relationships with their parents are much less likely to be carrying around a ton of emotional baggage. Don't want to deal with baggage? Look for somebody who wasn't given a whole load of it as a child.
Most Dangerous: How do you feel about sex?
This question should be asked carefully, and only when the mood is right. Feel a bit of chemistry and want to flirt a bit? This question will not only get the conversation going in a good direction, your date's answer will also tell you a lot about them. Does your date seem embarrassed by or scared of the topic? Or do they answer honestly, finding you fun and sort of daring? If your date is able to talk to you about sex without acting strange or awkward, or making assumptions about your intentions, chances are he or she is pretty good between the sheets. Why? Simply this: people without issues about sex generally do it better than people with issues.
Just a note, though. This particular question is best voiced by women rather than men. Guys, if you see the conversation going in this direction and think your date is open to talking, feel free to bring it up. But if your date doesn't flirt openly with you or mention something sexy first, you might want to leave this question for date two or three. You don't want to make her think sex is all you're after.
