Free internet dating is great for meeting and developing relationships with people you might not get to know otherwise. For some reason, it's just easier to make a connection online than it is in the real world. With internet dating, self-consciousness and awkwardness tend to go right out the window, allowing you to get on with the business of dating.
All of that sounds great, right? Well, it is. But the easy informality of dating online can also cause you to begin online relationships with people that, in the end, aren't what you thought they were or hoped they would be. If you use internet dating for any real amount of time, this sort of disappointment is something that you need to learn to expect. Not everybody online is who they seem to be, once you meet them in person.
Disappointment is part of the game. But there's a right way and a wrong way to deal with it. While you know you don't necessarily want to continue a relationship with somebody you met online (and sometimes you know this about five seconds after shaking their hand) you might not know how to go about breaking things off. Want to get yourself out of a sticky situation? Here are a few tips to help you smooth things along.
Say your piece right away. If you quickly see that a relationship with somebody from an internet dating site isn't going to work out, cut it short-- and be honest about it. Tell them honestly how you feel about the situation, and don't leave room for negotiation.
Don't make it about looks. Sometimes the person you meet is just not what you want... and sometimes the problem is physical. We all have standards of what we want a partner to look like, and moving forward often isn't a possibility if those standards aren't met. So, yes, it's perfectly possible that your date isn't as attractive as you hoped they would be (or as they implied they would be). But don't mention this when you let them know you're not interested. Honesty is important... but some things are just cruel.
Don't make excuses. Your date may wonder what it is about them that turns you off. If it's something you'd rather not say (if, for instance, the problem is their looks), don't make excuses. Just tell them you're not interested and move on. The truth is, just having met somebody on an internet dating site doesn't mean you owe them anything. If you don't want to give explanations, you don't have to. Just move on. No explanation at all is going to be miles better than some trumped-up excuse.
Give it a chance. Sometimes you can be immediately sure that somebody you meet on an internet dating site isn't a good match. But other times, you're too quick to judge. If you're leaning towards "no," give your date a chance to change your mind. Try to let go of your judgments and listen to your date. Ask questions and make a real effort to get to know them before you decide if they're really suitable.
Yes, internet dating makes meeting people and developing relationships easier. But that doesn't mean that every meeting will end in success, and that every relationship will always go smoothly. Especially if you're just getting started on an internet dating website like Datepad, you need to train yourself to deal with imperfect matches... even ones that seemed perfect on first glance. The important thing is to acknowledge the situation and move on quickly. You don't want to miss out on a truly great match!
Roses4mysoul
70 / Female
Comments: 21
Posted on March 23, 2009, 3:55 pm
In all my years of internet dating, I've only run into one profile where, when I met the person, I wondered WHO wrote that profile? Usually the age or weight is what's fudged. If it's age, and they admit it, I have to say no match, because I have discovered the people who think this is OK also think other "white lies" are OK...not a match, and I tell them why. If it's weight and it's too far over my mental limit, it's no go. I just say "we're not a match" and let it go.
