Just because you feel, in your heart, that you're ready for internet dating and romance doesn't necessarily mean that your ego's ready. We all have issues that we take with us in the search for love, whether they are problems in our childhoods or failures in our last relationship. Even when you know that you deserve to find somebody, settle down, and be happy, you can have doubts about your ability to really do it.
We all go through times when we don't feel good about ourselves, both as daters and as people. But you can't let that get in the way of your happiness and your romantic success. Want to increase your dating confidence and feel great about who you are as a potential partner? Read of for some tips to help you psyche yourself up.
Remember your successes.
Just because you've had relationships end doesn't mean everything about them --and everything you did while you were in them-- was bad. Think about the ways in which you were a good romantic partner, and the positive traits which you would bring to any relationship.
Want to make yourself feel great about your first date prowess? Think back to some of your favorite flirtatious moments on dates or with strangers. They'll get you feeling sexy and confident in no time.
Think about what makes you special.
You may not have Scarlett Johanssen's breasts or Daniel Craig's abs, but they may not have your wicked sense of humor, your generous nature, or your positive attitude. When you're getting started with internet dating and feeling not-so-great about yourself, it's important to remember that you do have something that's uniquely you... and uniquely wonderful.
Remembering this doesn't just help you feel more attractive when it comes time to date and make conversation. It can also help you feel more confident about relationships in general. When you feel good about your more positive qualities, you'll feel good about your ability to bring something worthwhile into any relationship. And so you'll feel more deserving of the chance to do just that.
Don't compare yourself negatively to others.
Every single person on the planet is different. I know this seems like it should be painfully obvious --and that you already know it-- but I also know how difficult it can be to feel this fact deep down. Yes, other people have things you don't. But if everybody had all of the same flaws and virtues, the world wouldn't only be a boring place... it probably wouldn't even work. We all have a role and we all have value. Don't knock yours just because you think somebody else's is more obvious.
Improve yourself.
Physically, I don't always feel like I'm in tip-top bikini-perfect shape (or, really, never). But I do know that, when I'm working on my body, I feel better about my appearance in general-- even if nothing external has changed. So even if it won't make you look or think any differently, spend some time doing something positive for yourself. Work out and start watching what you eat. Learn something new and start expanding your mind. When you feel like you're growing and improving as a person, your confidence in yourself --and in your internet dating potential-- will be increased ten-fold.
Get a second opinion.
Done a little soul-searching and found something about yourself or your internet dating profile that you think will be off-putting to potential matches? Don't take your own word for it. If you have low self esteem, chances are you are your own worst critic. So go and get a second opinion before convincing yourself that you're not worthy. Ask a friend or a family member to look over your internet dating profile, or even to tell you what you need to improve personally. If they don't see the problems you see, then there's probably not a problem.
