Even though free internet dating has been around for more than five years, there are still a lot of unknowns, especially if you've never internet dated before. Just like traditional dating, it can all be a bit confusing; you're not sure what questions to ask of any potential matches. Should you ask them lots of questions before getting together for that first date or should you wait for the actual date?
I think it's best if you ask your questions before meeting each other in person. The whole point of internet dating is to weed out those you don't want to date from the people you do want to date. And the easiest way to do that is to ask questions first, not later.
Other than the usual 'so what do you do for a living and for fun' kind of questions, there are also some questions you should be asking that will reveal quite a bit about the person doing the answering.
For instance, ask someone how they feel about internet dating in general. If they brush it off as a something to do for fun only then chances are they're not going to take you seriously either. If you're looking for a serious long term relationship, then the answer you are looking for should reflect the same goal.
Ask the person what kind of mistakes they think people make when they're internet dating. Often those who have had very bad, and very good, experiences will be only too glad to share them. Pay close attention to the answer. Someone who has had only negative experiences may be on the defensive whereas someone with good internet dating experiences is more likely to be open minded about the entire process.
Ask them what they think makes a successful relationship. Someone who replies only with things that do NOT make a successful relationship is focused only on the negatives and likely hasn't put much thought into what makes a good relationship. A person who hasn’t given this any thought is really not sure what they're looking for.
Ask them why their last relationship failed. You're not looking for the intimate details here, just an overview. More importantly you want to determine if the person you're chatting with takes responsibility for their part in a relationship, failed or otherwise. Someone who lays the blame squarely at their ex-partner's door may be blind to their own faults. We all have them, and acknowledging them is half the battle.
Erinlovely
31 / Female
Comments: 2
Posted on July 28, 2009, 4:39 pm
I ALWAYS ask why their last relation failed. I was going to add that if you didn't mention it lol.. I even use the word "failed".. You can get a lot more scary things than them blaming the partner and having stupid reasons (like they gained weight). You can also open up the door for nonstop talk about the ex. Meaning he is not over it. Retreat, retreat.
