Single parents often have a hard time romantically. It can be so difficult to find the time to date, much less the right person to do it with. Free internet dating makes the process so much easier. Unfortunately, the anonymity of dating online also means that all kinds of people will see you and your profile; and some of them may be online predators.
Whenever you start internet dating, one of the most important things you'll need to think about is your safety-- especially if you're a woman. Internet dating safety becomes doubly important when you bring kids into the picture. When you date with kids, not only do you put yourself into the hands of people you don't know, in a way you put your kids there, too. And the kids' safety is your first priority, of course.
Want to help keep your kids safe while you look for love online? Read on for some tips for single parents.
Be upfront.
Unfortunately, the "single parent" thing can sometimes be a stigma when you're dating-- whether it be online or in real life. But it's very important to be upfront about your status. If you don't mention your kids in your profile, you'll have to be ready to have an uncomfortable conversation later on down the line. And you may also attract the kind of people who aren't comfortable dating a single parent. Being upfront helps to attract the right kind of people, and streamlines the whole process for you.
Choose photos carefully.
Most parents are passionate about their kids. When you have children, they're a huge priority in your life... and so it may seem natural to choose a profile photo or two of you with your kids. But it's best to avoid doing this. Unfortunately, there are online predators out there, and keeping your kids out of sight can help your family to avoid being targeted. You don't want to expose your kids to somebody new --even electronically-- until you're sure you can trust them.
Listen to what isn't said.
It's sad to say it, but there are plenty of predators out there. Most of them probably "hunt" in the real world, where they can work themselves into the lives of single parents and get close to their children. And a vast majority of the people you meet online are going to be safe to have around your children. But that doesn't mean you can take any risks, of course.
When talking to somebody new, be sure to listen for any sign that they're more interested in your kids than they should be. This is a delicate operation, showing interest in your children is polite, and shows that they accept your status as a single parent. But if they ask more questions than seems normal --especially if they're childless-- be sure to listen to your instincts.
If you really want to lower your chances of coming across a predator, look for internet dating profiles of other single parents. If they're already parents themselves, chances are your kids will be safer with them.
Go slow.
Predators --both on internet dating sites and in life-- try to insert themselves into your life. They may try to speed up your relationship if they believe it will give them access to your kids. So it's important to take things slow if you can. Don't give up too much information about your life or lifestyle (especially your daily schedule) if you can avoid it. Don't give too many clues about where you live (and especially don't give out your address). And don't even think about exposing a new person to your children until you're as sure as you can be that they mean no harm.
Use your cell.
Chatting on the phone is a natural next step in internet dating. But having access to your home number gives sneaky people all of the information they need to find your address. Stick to messaging and the services of your internet dating site when possible. And when you do want to talk, be sure to use a mobile phone rather than a home phone.
It's a sad fact that single parents have to work so hard to protect their kids when all they're trying to do is build a happy life for themselves. And while it's good to know that most people out there will have nothing but good intentions for your children, it's also important to remember that others do not. It's important to protect yourself from internet dating predators-- but it's even more important to protect your children. While no step is a failsafe, following some of the tips above can help you do just that.
