There's a lot more to dating and internet dating than simply making a connection. Especially for women, the first date is always fraught with questions. "Is it the right time to talk about this?" "Will going too far physically give him the wrong idea?" You have enough to worry about on a first date without having to second-guess your every action. But unfortunately, for us ladies that second-guessing is a big part of our natures.
With free internet dating you get the opportunity to go on more dates than ever before. But unfortunately, you also get the opportunity to go on more failed dates than ever before.
Want to cut down your number of failed dates? Read on for the solutions to some of a woman's most dangerous first date issues.
What you should (or shouldn't) talk about.
One of the things that makes first dates so exciting is also what makes them so dangerous: when you don't know somebody well, it's all too easy to misunderstand what they have to say. So while you don't want to stick only to bland subjects all night, there are some that you want to stay away from: politics and religion. Now, religion is pretty clear. But politics covers a whole range of topics, from race or gender issues to who you're voting for in the next election. Staying away from dangerous topics doesn't have to mean a dull conversation-- stick to topics that cover your interests (think family, travel, books, movies, food, where you want to school, etc.). And always try to keep it positive. Nothing heavy on the first date.
When it's time to get physical.
This seems like a complicated question, but it's really rather a simple one. While every person (and every date) is a bit different, in most cases it's a good idea to avoid sex on a first date. That said, if the date goes well a goodnight kiss is a very good idea. Not only does it let your date know that you're interested (and not too uptight about getting physical), it also tells you a lot about your potential physical chemistry. Both of which are important parts of a successful first date.
Getting social beforehand.
It can be fun --and seem proactive-- to send somebody you plan to date to your Facebook or Myspace page. But the truth is, letting a potential partner get a peek at your social networking page before you actually go on a date with him can put you in dangerous territory. When he doesn't actually know you, the things you say on Facebook about your life and your relationships, plus your photos and the number of friends you have, can all give him inaccurate ideas of what kind of a person you are. If you don't want him to get the wrong idea --and you want to maintain a little mystery, which is always sexy-- wait awhile until you friend him on Facebook.
Who should pay.
This actually has a simpler answer than you might think: he should. And only because he wants to. In a recent survey done of male daters, almost 85% said that they both expected and wanted to pay for dinner when they go out with a woman. So let him pay. But be prepared to pay, too, if that's what he's looking for. When the check comes, pull out your wallet. But if he says he'd rather pay, let it go. And be sure to thank him for dinner. It's simple, but it's really all he wants.
What makes men call.
A lot of different things go into determining whether or not a man will call you for another date. You can think that a date goes great, while he feels just the opposite. Really, the men who are looking for serious relationships call back the woman who is both fun and nice. It's important that he feel attracted to her, too, of course. But if he wants to see himself in a relationship, he's probably picturing it with somebody who he likes spend time with: somebody kind, thoughtful, fun, and sincere.
Just as you know somebody can't get to know you on a first date, you can't get to know them, either. You can love his internet dating profile and think that the first date is a total success. But a first date is just a first date. The only thing that really determines whether or not it's a success is... if there's a second date, of course.
Timboooo
41 / Male
Comments: 2
Posted on June 28, 2009, 8:16 pm
What's wrong with being honest and telling them what to expect rather than letting them find out on the second date that you can't afford to buy them much or pay for expensive dinners,or if you have a health problem..
