When you look around your favorite free internet dating site, it's not too hard to find a profile or two (or a dozen) that catches your eye. And after that, it's not too hard, either, to exchange a few emails that make you wonder if somebody might be an interesting match. But profiles and emails can only do so much. It's that first conversation --generally online, but sometimes on the phone-- that will tell you more about what to expect from somebody you meet online.
One of the pitfalls of using internet dating sites is information overload. When you spend the day looking at dozens of profiles, reading piles of emails, and having plenty of conversations, they can all begin to run together after awhile. And it can be hard to remember --or even to know in the first place-- what to look for in that first conversation.
Think you're missing some things that could be telling you whether or not that the guy or girl you're chatting with might make a good match? Then read on for the 7 things you should be looking for in that first chat.
1. Sincerity.
It's not always possible to tell if somebody's 100% sincere. But even if you're chatting online instead of on the phone, you can generally get an idea about whether or not a person means most of what they say. Read their writing with an eye for passion and straight-forwardness. If you get a lot of "copy-paste" feeling answers or unconvincing statements, the person you're talking to may not care about connecting, or may not be sincerely interested at all.
2. Similar Goals.
One of the first things that you need to establish after meeting somebody on an internet dating site is whether or not you have the same goals for your meeting. Are you both looking for a serious relationship? Or is one of you simply out for a good time? These are things you'll want to have settled from the outset. It's best to be sure you're starting off on the same page.
3. Common Interests.
You can tell a lot about whether or not somebody shares some of your interests by what you find on their profile. But a profile doesn't tell you everything-- and you want to learn as much about this potential date as you can! Be sure to tell him, or her, what some of your biggest interests and hobbies are, and ask about theirs, as well. Sharing a lot of interests isn't 100% necessary for a successful relationship, but it sure does help. And it sure makes things more fun along the way.
4. A Spark.
You can only tell about physical sparks, of course, after you've met your potential match in person. Online sparks, however, are about personality and humor. Sometimes somebody you meet sparks recognition or admiration or a great joke they told during your chat. Look for that mental or emotional spark. If there isn't one online, you shouldn't necessarily expect to find one when you talk in person.
5. Something Different.
Most people who use internet dating talk to a lot of potential matches. And when you talk to so many people, it's easy to have canned answers that you give to everybody. Unfortunately, however, most people's answers to common dating questions are the same. Look for something different in the people you speak to-- something bright that will set them apart from the other dull satellites you've met online.
6. A "Matchable" Life.
It seems a little odd to look at a relationship so seriously so fast, but... you're serious about finding that special someone, right? So if you meet somebody whose life, goals, and interests are totally incompatible with yours, you probably need to look somewhere else, even if that person seems appealing in other ways.
7. A Positive Attitude.
Cynicism is something you're going to see a lot of when you're single. People who have been dating a long time tend to develop not-so-positive feelings about love. But people with negative attitudes are hard to live with. Look for somebody sees life --and therefore will see you-- in a positive light. Dating somebody with a positive attitude will make your life a lot easier (and the experience a lot more fun)... especially if things between you work out in the long run.
