Free internet dating and dating in general is all about making connections. When you meet somebody on a dating site like Datepad, something in you connects to something said in their profile or in the way they express themselves. Something you hear in chat or in phone calls tells you that they might be a good match for you. Whether intense or barely-there, that connection is what keeps things going from one phase in the process to the next.
But taking that connection from your internet connection (pardon the pun!) to the real world is one of the most difficult parts of the internet dating process. There's a lot of pressure; you know going into it that your first in-person conversation will make or break the relationship. If it doesn't go well, you can kiss your chance at date number two goodbye.
Meeting somebody for the first time, though, isn't about showing off what a good talker you are. It's about showing that person who you really are while making a connection with them in a real and tangible way. But in order to do that, you've got to break through the awkward strangeness of those first few minutes of conversation.
Breaking the Ice
Unless you're a social genius, there's always going to be a little awkwardness around that first meeting, especially during the first several minutes. And breaking the ice in those first moments is all about the little things that make you both feel more comfortable.
One of the best ways to break the ice is to share an experience together. You might not be in a position to grab a roller coaster ride (then again, maybe you are!), but anything around you that you both can experience will help to start a conversation. Comment or ask about something that you can both see, smell, or hear around you. Sometimes that thing can be entirely separate from the both of you. Other times, it can be something about your date him or herself. If something about their person or their clothing (a tattoo, a piece of jewelry, a funny button) truly interests you, comment or ask about it.
If worst comes to worst and awkwardness swoops down on your conversation anyway, just smile. A smile can be a sort of magic tool-- a big, sincere smile both acknowledges and dismisses any awkwardness, and leaves you and your date on the same page. Chances are, you'll find your date smiling back. And that's the beginning of a real connection, awkwardness and all.
Keeping the Conversation Going
Even after getting over that first bit of breaking the ice, it's still possible for your conversation to falter and fail. When this happens, having some decent conversation starters planned can really help things to move more smoothly. Sure, it sounds a little dorky to come up with things to say ahead of time, but it's also effective and will make you feel more confident when the time comes.
Conversation starters can be general, or they can be about your date. Take some time before meeting him or her to look over his or her internet dating profile one more time. There may be elements of their profile (or even pieces of past conversations) that you have questions or comments about. Make a note of them, and keep them in mind when those dreaded blank spots appear in your conversation. These more personal conversation starters will not only keep talk flowing, they'll also show your date that you're paying attention, and that you're interested in them as a person. All good things!
If you still need to throw a little fuel onto the fire, there are plenty of other little conversation starters that will help to keep things flowing. Think of a few ahead of time, such as:
• Interesting current events
• Movies or books you both like
• How they feel about internet dating
• Their hobbies, etc.
Also, when you're nervous about making conversation, it can be easy to forget that the whole thing is a two-way street. When your date asks you about something, answer it fully, then turn the question around on them. Not only does this keep the conversation flowing, it also helps to develop the connection between you, as you're sharing your memories of similar experiences.
