Most women who sign up for an internet dating site do so because they're looking for a committed relationship. They're ready to find somebody, make a commitment, and settle down. And so of course they want a man who is ready to do those same things.
Unfortunately, though, those men can be more difficult to find than most women initially believe. When most ladies online see a particular guy online, they assume that that man is there for the same reason they are: he's looking for something serious. They assume that the fact of having created a profile is proof that a man is looking to establish a relationship. But while that's mostly true for women, it's not always true for men.
While some guys on internet dating sites really are looking for a long-term relationship, others out there think dating sites are the perfect way to meet women for more casual encounters. The trick is being able to tell the difference. If you're looking for something long-term, you've got to find a man who wants that, too. Read on for some subtle (and not-so-subtle) hints on his profile that he's ready for commitment... and some other hints that he's not.
Check out his status.
Obvious, right? If it says he's married, then he's probably not ready to have a committed relationship with you. But it also gets a little more complicated than that. For instance, just because he says he's never been married doesn't mean he's looking for a real relationship. Or, if he's divorced, it's important to know how long he's been divorced. If he only signed the papers a few months ago, chances are he won't be ready to settle down right away. And just because he's separated doesn't mean a man is truly free. Sure, you may be able to meet somebody who's ending a relationship and make a new relationship work with them, but doing so is going to be a complicated process. If you want to keep your life simple, it's best to keep away.
Read between the lines.
While not all guys spell out their desire for a long-term relationship on their internet dating profiles, there are ways to tell if he may be ready for one. Does he say that he wants to meet people who are a bit more mature and that share more in common with him than people he's dated in the past? Does he mention that he's looking for "the one" or "that special someone?" Does he mention having been in committed relationships in the past? These are all good signs that he may be looking for something more than a fling.
Warning signs: if he mentions the word "casual" anywhere on his profile, you should probably give him a miss. Even if he implies that your "casual" relationship could perhaps turn into something more, he probably doesn't mean it. He's just looking for a bit of fun, and if you want more than that you're probably wasting your time.
Check out his photo.
If you really look at it, a man's internet dating photo will tell you a lot more about him than just what he looks like. For example, a guy whose photos are all of him and his buddies --with a lot of partying and immaturity-- he's probably not in a position to settle down. In general, a man who is looking for a serious relationship will want to present himself to potential partners in a serious way.
Warning signs: If, on the other hand, a man who's piqued your interest has photos on his profile with other women in them (not family members) or photos showing off his muscles, you'd do better not to take him seriously.
Pay attention to who he talks about.
The people a man considers most important in his life can help give you an idea of what his priorities are. Does he talk a lot about his family and how much he cares for them? Then there's a good chance that he's a responsible, down-to-Earth guy who is loyal and able to commit to the people he loves. In other words, just what you're looking for.
Watch who he's looking for.
A man who is serious about finding a real relationship generally knows just what he wants in a partner. As far as personality and point of view goes, a man looking to settle down will specify the kind of woman he thinks would be compatible with him. If you come across a profile where a man talks about the personality traits he wants, and mentions important issues like religion or wanting kids, he's probably ready (or almost ready) for a commitment.
Warning signs: If, on the other hand, the man in question specifies only physical characteristics (thin, large-breasted, and blonde spring to mind) and will otherwise take anything he can get, he's probably not too serious about settling down.
Roses4mysoul
70 / Female
Comments: 21
Posted on August 19, 2009, 10:17 am
You are right on regarding these guys. I would add "widower" to the "check his status" list. Best to give these guys (and the newly divorced) a year in their new status before you come into the picture...unless you're prepared to be the proverbial "transitional woman". I have heard dating them right away works for some women, but it sure hasn't for me. Everytime I've violated my "rule", it's come back to haunt me. I think timing has a whole lot to do with whether the guy is ready to settle down. When he's fed up with all the dating and confusion it causes, he'll say he's ready. Until then, I'd consider every guy out there a casual dater. Oh, and if he starts his email to you with "Hello, Pretty"...it's a SCAMMER! Report him.
