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You love being together, you like the idea of being more settled and committed, and you want to save money and be practical. You're thinking about moving in together.

Congratulations! Moving in with your partner is a very exciting time. It invites a new intimacy into your relationship, and allows you to get to know each other on a deeper level. After all, when you live together, you can't hide every trip to the toilet or weird quirk... it's all out in the open now. This can be a beautiful thing.

But it can also be a scary thing... and a risky one. A lot of relationships fall apart after a couple move in together, so before you decide whether or not to move in, it's important to give some thought to every aspect of this huge decision.

Timing

The first thing to think about, of course, is the state of your relationship. Can it really withstand the pressure of co-habitation? The first sign of this will be the length of time you've been together. The longer a couple has been together, the more stable their relationship may be; they already know what they love and hate about each other. You need time to see past that first bright glow of a new relationship in order to know if you're compatible in the long run.

Simply put; if you're still in the honeymoon phase of a relationship (and think, therefore, that your partner can do no wrong and never will) do not move in together! I'm going to repeat that, just to be sure. Do not move in together! You need more time to get to know one another as flawed and annoying human beings before you can attempt to cohabitate.

Money and Roles

If you have decided that your relationship is an old enough vintage to support moving in together, there are still a few core issues to work out. It’s time for the hard part: talking things out. A lot goes into living with somebody. And without communicating beforehand --that is, establishing roles, discussing practical concerns, and clarifying your expectations-- you're setting yourselves up for failure.

Take time to work out who will be responsible for what, and what you are and are not willing to do. Does one of you make more money than the other? Take time to talk out how that will affect living together. Are you both accustomed to taking care of a home and yourselves? If not (this happens more often with men... sorry guys), be sure to discuss how much responsibility for the house (cleaning, cooking, etc.) you're willing to take on-- and how much you expect your partner to do.

It will never be smooth sailing all of the time. Expect setbacks and disagreements. Try to remember why you wanted to move in together in the first place; because you love one another and enjoy each others’ company. Above all, communication is key, so be sure to listen to one another and respect each other’s boundaries. Good luck!

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