If you haven't yet taken your free internet dating relationship into the real world, then you already know that this kind of relationship is hard. Even if you have had a chance to meet, being apart so much of the time lends an extra complication to your relationship that wouldn't be there otherwise. And the more serious the relationship gets, the more complicated being apart becomes.
Especially when jealousy and paranoia come into play. If your feelings for your internet dating partner are intense, it's natural for you to have some concerns about who they're spending they're time with. When you can't be there to be reassured about your partner's feelings about you, it's natural to fear that those feelings might be fading... or being given to another. But there's a difference between a natural feeling of apprehension, and overwhelming jealousy or paranoia. The first is totally natural... and the second just might ruin your relationship.
Below, you'll find six warning signs that your jealousy is getting in the way of your long distance or internet dating relationship.
Most of your thoughts about your relationship are negative. Sure, everybody worries about their relationship at one time or another. But if you spend more time worrying about what your partner is thinking and feeling than you do feeling happy about your relationship, you might be in trouble. Romantic relationships are supposed to be pleasant things; chances are, if your paranoia about your partner's feelings is making your relationship unpleasant for you, it's probably making it unpleasant for them, too.
Your partner has never given you real reason to worry. Every time you talk to your internet dating partner online or over the phone, they're full of love and dedication. So why, you should ask yourself, do you constantly worry that their feelings are fading? Trust is an important part of a relationship, and when you can't give it to your partner even when he or she gives you every reason to, it doesn't bode well for your relationship's future.
Your partner is afraid to tell you what he or she does on a daily basis. When you're still just internet dating and are living far apart, there's no way you can know what your partner does with his or her time every day. But if every mention of a night out or a conversation at the supermarket gets your paranoia on edge, you have a problem. Especially when you take your paranoia or jealousy out on your partner.
You often doubt your partner's honesty or trustworthiness. Especially if you do this aloud, it's one of the quickest ways to poison an otherwise-good relationship. Trust is one of the most important elements of a long distance relationship, and showing your partner you trust them is hugely important. After all, how would you feel if you were constantly bombarded with jealous questions whenever you talked to your partner? Even if you have your doubts, there's nothing you can do about them from afar-- showing your partner that you distrust them doesn't serve any purpose but to weaken your bond.
You have fights about your jealousy. Because long distance and internet dating relationships are so hard, you should expect to have arguments sometimes. But you don't need to add fuel to the fire with jealousy and paranoia. If you find that you're often fighting about what you imagine your partner may have been doing while he or she wasn't with you, you definitely have a problem.
You can't relax and have a good time when you're on your own. Let's see if this looks familiar. You're out with your friends on a Friday night, having a few drinks and trying to have a good time. But you can't concentrate, because every two minutes you're wondering what your partner is up to at that moment. Who are they with? Are they being faithful to you? Are they even thinking about you?
If this sounds familiar, it means that jealousy and paranoia might be putting a stranglehold on your relationship. And when that happens, you're letting the long distance get the best of you. Entering into a long distance or internet dating relationship means letting go of a certain amount of control. And part of that letting go means you have to trust your partner. Because without trust, what else do you have?
