Aside from a general feeling of unease and inconsistency, it can be difficult to tell when somebody is lying to you on a free internet dating site. The only information you have to work from, after all, is their profile-- you aren't given many options other than to believe what they say. But when you finally meet your internet dating sweetie --and especially when you start a relationship with them-- it gets a lot easier to tell if they're being straight with you. And it becomes a lot more important that they should be.
Worried that somebody you're dating doesn't always feed you the straight story, and want to figure out whether or not they're lying? The first thing you need to do is listen to your instincts. The subconscious is an incredibly powerful thing; oftentimes, it speaks in a much truer and clearer language than your conscious mind. So listen to it. When something about what somebody tells just doesn't feel right, there's a good chance it's not right.
But you also have to remember, of course, that what you see as instincts aren't always as clear as they seem. While they'll usually lead you right, in some situations your instincts may be more about your own insecurities or worries than they are about the person you're speaking with. Which is why it's a good idea to back them up with observation.
With time, it's possible to get a real grasp on the look and behavior of a liar. And if you're just getting started with internet dating, this can be a very powerful tool to have.
Watch the Body Language
People can lie with their minds and with their voices... but it's much, much harder to lie with their bodies. Generally, a change in the usual body language of somebody you're speaking to is a signal that something is up. While a change in general body language doesn't always mean that somebody's lying, lying almost always bring about a change. All you have to do is look for those changes in the right places.
Eye contact
Whether the person in question is your long-term boyfriend or girlfriend, some person you just met at an internet dating site, or the guy who sits in the cubicle next to yours at work, the quickest way to determine whether or not he or she is being honest with you is the eyes. If somebody who normally makes good eye contact suddenly avoids eye contact with you, it's a very good sign that they may be lying. It's actually pretty simple: when you're enthusiastic and sincere about something, you want to make a connection. Eye contact is part of that. But when you're lying, you want exactly the opposite; you want to sever that connection.
Gesturing and timing
This works best with people that you know well, or at least have spent a good amount of time with. If your partner is normally somebody who gestures a lot with his or her hands (or, conversely, tends not to gesture) a change in his or her gesturing or the timing of that gesturing may indicate that your partner is thinking about trying to look natural rather than just... being natural. It's a clear sign that something else is going on in his or her head.
What's not said
Telling the truth is generally a smooth and seamless thing. Lying, however, is complex and creative. If your partner or date is looking away and saying "ummm" a lot more often than usual, it may be a sign that he or she is planning out the best way to tell you a lie.
Touching
When people lie, they generally feel an unconscious instinct to cover their faces. If your partner touches his or her face a lot during the course of a conversation, it may indicate he or she is trying to cover up for a lack of honesty.
