Sometimes, your romantic relationships will go out with an audible bang. When one party sleeps with somebody else, starts Internet dating on the sly, or runs over their partner's pooch, the fight that ensues tells you loudly enough that your relationship is over. Most relationships don't end that way. Most of the time, the relationship slowly grinds to a halt and then begins to move backward. And all of this is so gradual that neither party realizes it's happening. Or perhaps they just don't want to admit that the relationship isn't working.
If things aren't working in your relationship, the best thing is to pull the band-aid off quickly. The longer you stay a couple steeped in problems, the more painful it'll be to acknowledge them when the time comes. And, inevitably, the time will come. It always does.
Below, you'll find some aspects of your relationship to evaluate if you want to determine whether the trajectory of your relationship may be on a downward slope.
Consideration. When you're happy in your relationship and feeling deeply in love, doing nice things for your partner is automatic, and very pleasant. But when a relationship stops working and your feelings change without your knowledge (or without your acknowledgement), it's much harder to maintain that same level of consideration. If you're Internet dating, you might forget to send funny little articles or photos you come across to your partner. In real life, you might forget to take out the trash or wash your girlfriend's car for her like you used to.
Distractions. When you share a healthy emotional and romantic relationship with somebody, just being with them is a lot of fun. You can have a great time splitting a pizza and a six-pack and talking about your childhoods or politics or what happened with your day. And while it's true that the feeling of being totally enthralled with your partner's every word will fade in any relationship, people in good relationships enjoy spending time together. If you find yourself unable to enjoy spending a half hour sitting and talking with your partner, and have to turn on the TV to keep you and your partner distracted from each other, your relationship isn't what it should be.
Time. Sure, when you first met and fell in love you wanted to be together every moment of the day. And, of course, as your relationship settled down, that urge faded. If you find that you (or neither you nor your partner) want to spend time together, there's a problem. If you'd prefer a game of World of Warcraft to a chat with your girlfriend, there might be a problem. Or if you would always rather soak in the tub with a good book than go out with your boyfriend (though it's okay to feel this way sometimes!) you might want to ask yourself why.
Sex. While you and your partner's sex life can be affected by a ton of different things, stress, physical health, lack of sleep, etc. When your sex life takes a dramatic turn for the worse without any discernible reason, it might be time to start evaluating the health of your relationship. If you find yourself not wanting sex with your partner, it can be a sign that you're feeling distant from him or her emotionally.
Fighting. Sure, you fought with your boyfriend or girlfriend even when you were at your very happiest. You even fought over silly things, like who was right about the sleeping habits of polar bears, or who be in charge of the remote control. When those silly little "nothing" fights turn into large, uncontrollable ones, you have a problem on your hands.
