Most people who visit Datepad and other internet dating sites are here to find somebody to spend their lives with. Somebody they can bond with and live with. Somebody they can feel great about. And somebody who makes them want to rip their clothes off and jump right on into bed.
But time does strange things to relationships. In some ways, it brings couples closer together, allowing for an intimacy that they didn't see at the beginning of their relationship. In other ways, though, it pushes them apart. When the fire cools after years together, it can be frustrating. And it can be hard to get that fire back.
Want to bring the fire back into your relationship or learn how to keep it from going out in the first place? Read on for some great tips to keep you and your partner hot under the collar for years to come.
Commit to it. This doesn't sound very sexy, does it? Probably not... but it's still one of the most important parts of keeping things spicy in your relationship. Every relationship experiences ups and downs. And if you're not committed to making it work, it's easy to let the downs --including the sexual ones-- feel like all you have. So before you can get your relationship back on its feet (or back under the covers), you need to commit fully to making it work. If you feel only half-committed to your partner, all the work that goes into a spicy, successful relationship just won't seem worth it.
Challenge each other. Couples fall into a rut-- it's something that happens all the time. If you find that things have cooled off between you and your partner, make it a game and a challenge to bring the spark back into your relationship. Decide to have sex every day for a week straight, no exceptions. Or make a contest to see who can turn the other one on most over the phone or in the bedroom. Sometimes reigniting your relationship is about tossing a bit of fuel back onto a fire that's already burning... and reminding each other why you like sex together so much in the first place.
Create privacy. When you have a family, it can sometimes seem impossible to have the private time you need together to be truly intimate. And truly dirty. So create a private space or a private time that you will always have together. Whether it's sexy nap time on a Saturday afternoon or a shower together before your morning coffee, a little "us only" time will make the different between a dynamite relationship and a dud.
Talk about it. Oftentimes, sex takes a back seat to other things simply because the people in a relationship stop talking about it. When you have a hundred different things going on, sometimes you forget about how hot your partner is. So sit down together, and actually have a conversation about sex. It doesn't have to be serious or strange; in fact, it should be fun! Tell stories about your favorite sexual adventures together, and talk about what you love sexually about your partner.
Do things for each other. When the romance fades out of a relationship, the sex usually goes along with it. Make an effort to do some of the romantic things for your partner that you used to, and ask him or her to do the same. If you like, you can even sit down and talk about the things you used to do for each other, and discuss which ones you should start up again. Remind each other of everything you like about being together, and sex and intimacy will be a natural part of that.
Just because the fire in your relationship has cooled off doesn't mean it has gone out-- and it doesn't mean you can't get it burning hot again if you want to. Whether you've been married 10 years or just started internet dating a year ago, there are plenty of things you can do together to bring back the heat in your relationship. All it requires is a lot of commitment and a little extra work. And believe me, it's worth it.
