I am amazed when I look at my two teenage nephews. I can’t believe how much they have grown and watching them develop into young adults has had its challenges (especially for their parents) but it’s had far more rewards as well.
It makes me stand back and look at my 10-year-old son and realize that he too will be a teenager someday soon. Every parent knows what I mean when I say that time goes by so quickly when you have kids, and watching your kids grow into teenagers is sometimes a little bit scary.
It need not be though. Teenagers will inevitably get into some kind of trouble at some point. The single most important thing to keep in mind is to try to stay as calm as possible. Remember, they still do look to you as an authority figure and someone they can trust, even if they don’t appear to!
A teenager needs to feel heard and understood. They are experimenting with their own sense of adulthood and independence. There is an immense amount of biological stuff going on within them both psychologically and hormonally. So it’s not so easy being a teenager.
Experimentation with drug, sex, alcohol, a bad crowd; these are the norm and a right of passage for all teenagers. The degree to which you have good communication and have remained involved in your teenager’s life will impact how much they turn to and hang on to these experimental stages.
With my sister and I both being single parents, we always try to do ‘family’ things together. It makes for organizing and planning stuff much easier, fun for all of us and strengthens our bond as a group.
Most recently during Thanksgiving dinner that I hosted at my house, we went outside to the park down the street and all participated in a football game after dinner. This is new for me. It was loads of fun (but very sore for 3 days afterwards) and so worth it.
You can tell they were impressed that we (the two mom’s) took the tackles and hard hits, tried our best to tackle them in return and scored one or two touchdowns. This is what quality times are made of and a memory that will remain for some time to come.
It amazed me that my nephew’s two friends who joined us for Thanksgiving spent more time with my sister and I, by helping us set up the table and cleaning afterwards, than spending it with their own friend. We chatted and conversed with them, talking about girlfriends, school, football and so much more. We were like one of them and they appreciated it.
I think kids today crave a connection with their parents or someone that they look up to not only for guidance but also as role models as well. They closely watch us for cues and clues as to what is expected of them not only in the family dynamic, but also in society in general.
I offered to host a Halloween themed party for them next week with a scary movie and good food. They were ecstatic over the idea. Give them a venue that has food in it and they’ll love it. They ARE bottomless pits when it comes to food – especially boys!
The thing to remember with teenagers is that life is very fast for them. Know what they like and what they are into and try to accommodate their ideas as much as possible. Making for quality time spent doing fun things together that they enjoy, will always make them more sociable, stable and happy; not only around you, but others as well.
