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It’s never easy to decide if someone is right for you. At times we are strongly-physically attracted to someone only to find out later that you don’t have anything in common. Other times, you don’t get a strong vibe from someone, yet as time goes by, you begin to like them more and more as you get to know one another. Opposites do attract but sometimes finding that special someone means you have to give it time and let it unfold – slowly.

Here are some things to look out for when scoping out a new mate:

Personality:

First of all, know what your personality is like. Are you an introvert or an extrovert? Do you like to be the center of attention and get an energy boost from being around people or do you feel fatigued and want to come home after a night of talking to people. If your partner is opposite from you, initially that may be ok, however, over time it may be difficult to keep both parties happy when one wants to be around people all the time and the other would prefer to stay at home.

Communication:

Do you like to talk a lot or do you prefer to listen? If both of you are strong talkers, it could prove to be difficult to get a point across. You may not give each other the time and space to voice your opinions. Assess if there is a give and take during communication and see if you are enjoying conversing with them.

Spirituality:

Do you have compatible spiritual/religious values? This can prove to be fatal if both parties are not on the same page. You cannot maintain a healthy relationship if their spiritual values are very different from your own.

Health and Nutrition:

Do you like to drink and your partner does not? Does it bother them that you drink because they don’t? This again can be a clear sign that compatibility is not there. If your partner wants you to stop drinking/smoking because they don’t drink or smoke, it can become very tedious and stressful on the relationship. At other times, a partner is more than willing to stop smoking and/or drinking for the sake of the partner and that’s great. However, if they are not ready to do it for themselves first, then chances are, it will only be temporary.

Eating Habits:

Do you like to eat healthy and your partner prefers to eat junk food? Not a problem when you are dating and eating out a lot but can be a cause for concern when you live together and have to start cooking. Everything from what to buy at the grocery store and what to cook for dinner that night can be a sure cause for arguments on a nightly basis.

Friends and Family Compatibility:

How important are your friends and family above your relationship with your partner? Are you willing to put him first above everyone else? Does he do the same for you? A partner is going to feel unloved and unappreciated if he feels that you are not putting him above everyone else, especially if he feels that he does this for you.

Life Goals:

Do you have the same or similar goals that you want to achieve in life? Do you want children, does she? Where do you want to be financially in 5 years? These are tough questions, but necessary ones to know in order to help you assess if your partner has the same values as you.

Love and Romance:

Love and Romance: How much love and affection do you need in a relationship? Are you with someone who does not need a lot of touching or displays of affection and you are the type that needs a lot of it? If so, it’s going to be trouble down the road. Both parties have to understand and be comfortable with their forms of displaying affection to their loved one.

In the end, only you can decide which attributes you are willing to accept about your partner. Just because certain things don’t match up in compatibility, it does not mean that you cannot be happy together. Love has a way of overcoming obstacles, and if both are willing to give and take, then a lot can be overcome.

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