There are millions of people around the world who use online dating services such as Datepad to meet people, perhaps even that special someone. Most are aware that letters that contain “Hello Dear, I am Ms Rosemary Beko the only daughter of late Chief.and Mrs. Dikko Beko” or some other such nonsense are nothing but scams. Occasionally we’ll receive a letter that at first glance appears to be genuine, but closer inspection sets off a small warning bell in the back of our mind. Is this for real?
The question you should be asking yourself is not whether the person behind the correspondence is real because of course they are (unless you’re unknowingly talking to a bot) but rather; “is this person representing him/herself to me in a truthful manner and can I believe what he/she is saying to me?”
Chances are that the answer to the question is “No, they’re lying” if the profile and correspondence meets one or more the following criteria. Please remember, this isn’t foolproof, nor do I profess to be an “expert”. But I’ve been around a few dating sites in the past year and have come across some very undesirable individuals, just like I’ve met some very interesting people who have become online friends. Use common sense and remember the adage “if it seems too good to be true, it probably is”!
Does the photo on the profile seem too good to be true?
I’ve seen photos of men and women on dating sites that look like they came straight off a photo shoot. Not a hair out of place, perfect eyebrows, a generic background and not even the ghost of a zit! Google Images anyone?
Is their language too over the top?
One writer told me “I feel so Overwhelmed writing to an Effulgent creature of God's Glory radiating Gorgeously in heavenly beauty” that honestly, I broke out laughing. That online translator program must have been working overtime! Let’s face it, keepers don’t talk like that. Messages like this belong in only one place...the deleted messages folder!
Is their entire letter one great big long run on sentence?
I simply cannot take it seriously when I read “hi dear how you are today well my dear i will like to get to know you much better and i will like to chat with you here is my yahoo id but before that i will like to know what is your age and what you like to do and here is my id and you can message me now and i will waiting for you” etc. etc. All this from someone who professes to be a professional engineer!! Where did you get your degree buddy, The B(ad) G(rammar) Online School of Engineering?? Puhleeze! I couldn’t hit the “delete” button fast enough.
Does he/she declare their undying “love” towards you without even having met you?
You’ve exchanged a few emails and maybe even chatted online. All of a sudden this person is declaring that you’re the love of their life, their soul mate and they simply can’t live without you. Get a grip! I don’t care how much you have in common, and how well suited you seem to be, if you haven’t even met each other, you simply cannot know if you’re in love with each other. You may THINK you are, but THINKING IT and KNOWING IT are two different things.
Are they pushing you to chat on MSN or Yahoo, bypassing the dating site’s communication medium?
What’s wrong with the site’s communication? It’s there for you to use to protect your privacy. Most reputable dating sites prohibit the posting of personal information. If they’re really interested in getting to know you, they won’t rush you. If you feel you really must chat on MSN or Yahoo or another instant messenger program, at least set up an account strictly for that purpose. Remember; NEVER give out personal information such as your telephone number, address, workplace, or financial information to a total stranger. It’s foolish and potentially dangerous.
Have they requested money for a flight so you can “be together” or to pay off a debt?
Chances are that this “love of your life” is having exactly the same conversation with others. He/she will tell you exactly what you want to hear, claiming to want the same thing things in life as you, when in reality their only interest is parting you from your money, plain and simple. Do NOT reply, block the user from further communication with you (if your website supports this function) and report the user to the website support department or webmaster, and consider it a lesson learned.
Taking the time to ascertain the sincerity and authenticity of the correspondent can lead to a safe and secure future. Rushing into things blindly can lead to heartbreak and possible financial ruin. Protect yourself, and play it safe.
